Monday, April 30, 2012
Saturday, April 28, 2012
|Bye bye my beautiful window view ... I'm sitting here typing now and looking at this beautiful beautiful view|
I'd stay here all summer if they had monthly rates but during the summertime is when they really make their money and no deals ... I certainly can understand. When I had my shop.... we made our money in the summertime. The rest of the year was hoping to get enough business to pay the bills.
I didn't go any where today and finished eating stuff I had in the fridge --- lemon Greek yogurt and blueberries for breakfast. Then the tray of vegetables with dip for supper. Good ol green tea and coffee. Lots of water. I do want to continue to feel good. I don't do sick well at all... I don't like it.
Maryann and I talked a bunch today. She was expecting and did get very busy around 4pm. This time of year she has everything to herself! there are 16 units. She does housekeeping to front desk to you name it. wears me out ....
She and I had fun planning trips. She wants to go.... Hahaaaa.... Told me about going on up north - couldn't believe I hadn't been to Yellowstone! HAVE to go to Cody, Wyoming and so forth ... glorious route from Estes Park. She loves the route she gave and told me when she lived in that area....I was all set to go! Grand Tetons....
Then, I did a weather check... way too cold for me and Homer this time of year. So.... right now... I say ... right now. hah! my plans are to go Highway 7 to Allenspark and St. Malo's church then over to Broomfield then down to Colorado Springs and indeed she says I HAVE to do Ouray and Silverton and Pagosa Springs --- so... them's my plans.
Going to go stay in Broomfield for a bit because everything that I like is in a wad. I can walk as well as sleep within a couple of miles of each other. Walmart is right by Panera Bread and Whole Foods and lots of other neat places. Great neighborhood. I want to conserve gas and get caught up with my expenses. The first of the month is when lots of stuff is taken out of checking.
Spent a great deal of time with ol Shadow too. What a neat old cat. This will be my 9th night here and I really feel at home. But home is where I am. I plan on doing the trip she outlined after I do the Highway 1 California, Oregon, Washington coasts then over from Washington.... that should work. I wonder if this will occur. so much to see and do. What will happen from now until I get back close to here again....
This absolutely beautiful world is well, absolutely beautiful. So onward ... !
Friday, April 27, 2012
So.... I kept waking up - as soon as I tried to sleep again... ZOT ... terrible bad stuff ... can't remember what all it was except that it was me and no hope... terrible stuff. Finally got to sleep around 3:30am ... slept until about 5... BUT I felt surprisingly rested!
What the hell is going on with me. My innards wrestling my outards... whatever.
Beautiful morning.... didn't make coffee just decided to get dressed and get out in the day. Still craving eggs and potatoes and toast... saw The Egg and I yesterday and thought what a cute name so I went and it was deeeelicious. The best toast ever! Just what I needed. Great coffee! ought to be at $2.49! holy jeez but she did leave the carafe - I like that. As well as a carafe of iced lemon water.... my kinda place. Chunky potatoes and the eggs scrambled with three THREE different cheeses and topped with a smattering of scallions... good stuff.
Still felt pretty good so parked at the library and walked around this little town... it was soooo windy and it began getting colder. I didn't want to take any chances of getting any kind of worse. So reluctantly got back in Homer and just looked about and drove about a bit. I tried to take pictures but it was so windy. I found a couple online that will show the cuteness of this place. The Fall River winds through this entire area..... absolutely gorgeous. AND, when you're tired of river? just look upwards to the mountains... man oh man.
Started feeling a bit shaky and didn't want to push it... I am really really tired of not feeling good. So, came back and took a lil nap... felt great.
Needed to take care of a lil business. I changed auto insurance this afternoon ... Maryann is so cool. We printed the stuff out; I signed them; and she faxed them in for me. Of course ... Shadow stretched and stretched to climb on the keyboard and help. Told her I can do this. No chipmunks today!
After working up an appetite..... I decided a Subway sandwich would fit the bill. I tried their vegetable patty sub ... not bad! really hit the spot. I haven't been eating much at all and hopefully ... by filling myself with continuing good food will help clear the final bits of this mess hanging on.
Very pretty drive through Estes Park ... Subway, McD's and Safeway are on one side of Elkhorn Avenue... a very long Avenue... and the shops and cutesy places in the middle and on the other end. There are other streets that wind around Elkhorn and ... seriously... you can't get back from anywhere... I wound up in some really pretty places just trying to turn a corner ... reminds me of Little Rock... not many corners to turn... you gotta wind about a bit... but what fun!
Very interesting housing. There is really no place to pull over. There are parking areas and you walk. I could live here very nicely. Except for the winter. I just don't do snow and such even though Maryann said Estes Park usually misses the heavy stuff. I like this kinda of cold okay especially with no humidity! But when it gets really below 40º and into the nothings at night... way too much for me.
I will leave here Sunday morning and head ..... dunno
Any suggestions? I'm still planning on going down/up Highway 7 to Allenspark and St. Malo's Church then on to Colorado Springs... I think so. The weather is turning a bit cool --- Homer's okay at 36º but I don't like it. I have plenty of warm stuff. It's the getting up in the morning and getting dressed in the cold... brrrrrr
I don't like really sleeping in clothes I wear out but I will. I brought sweats then can change as it warms up.
I don't know.... I've said it before and I'll say it again..... the ONLY thing I'm sure of is I know absolutely nothing... zip nada
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Dagnabbed animal... I went down to pay yet again for another three night stay.... boy is my budget over budget.... Shadow came to sit beside me. I asked Maryann what she ate and she said.... chipmunks... WHAT? aw man? yep, sometimes three a day...
Well, I could have gone from now to forever without hearing that.... jeeeeeEEEEeezz... I asked her if she fed her? oh, yes... can of wet food and always dry food out. Well? she's not a fat cat by no means... must have a tapeworm... nope... she's healthy as can be...
Well? so boo hiss on you Shadow.... cutest little chipmunks running around here. Y'think they'd tell each other that this cat will eat em? I mean the art of survival... or are they lemming brained....
sigh -- nature
I feel like crap. It's 7pm and I"m just feeling like coming over here and saying something. I stayed in bed all day yesterday and wouldn't have moved a muscle today if I didn't have to pay to stay again.... I will have been here 9 nights!
So since had to look halfway decent to go to the office so as not to scare anyone... decided I"d go on into town and get some eggs. This time at Big Horn Restaurant. Very friendly nice atmosphere place. I had a couple of eggs with hasbrowns and a biscuit.
I do not know why... I continue to order a biscuit anyplace other than the South.... biscuits are not rolls people! ... nice taste but awfully crumbly and pasty... so I had the eggs and a few bites of shredded hasbrowns - you know the type - and a pasty biscuit.. haaaaa --- with coffee and tip - $9.81 --
Felt okay when I started out and I wanted to take in a bit of the Village but jeeez started feeling so ... not sick but what is that feeling... wanna go to bed and sleep.
Hope this next set of threes will get me back to normal... talk about going to have to boondock!
I sure appreciate your comments - I can read them in bed on my iPhone..... I seem to be able to sit up for a while then back to bed I want to go...
I don't hurt .... the coughing has subsided ... I"m stuffed up and go from not being able to breathe to being able to breath too much and it hurts... you know that sensation through your nose? yuk... right now and for the most part --- It's like I'm inside a water balloon... dinging about... but then I can breathe... I don't know.
I'ma gonna kick Shadows' butt if I catch her.... THREE?
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
I've been sleeping on and off all day long. Sure am glad I decided to stay. I am now feeling worse than I have all day. I would imagine it's because it's night time. Well, only 7:30 but it's time for coughing to begin getting worse... worser? haaa
I sat up a bit today and watched the chipmunks play ... soooo cute and a huge black and white bird came to play with them. They have a bird feeder there and he was a bit too large for it... funny
Of course, my little camera couldn't possibly get a good picture... and THEN he flew on my deck.. blast! I get my camera and sloooowly opened my door ... flew away... blast!
I also saw a gorgeous electric blue bird when I was driving in when I took picture of the chipmunks. But he was too elusive to catch. In my search I found it to be a Stellar's Jay.... This guy was a large bird and very black hood and neck with the electric blue everything else! ... The guy's there said it was a western Jay... but Maryann said it was a Stellar Jay and so google agreed with Maryann... whatever - he is stellar!
I decided to google Estes Park birds.... seems the Lark Bunting is the state bird but this guy was larger than this description. I do believe it was a Magpie! HAaaa... weren't Heckle and Jeckle Magpies or were they crows... they had no white on them though.
Anyway... here's a picture of the Magpie... he had black from his head down to his tail which fanned out ... his belly was pure white as were the tips of his wings... just beautiful.
Lots of beauty in these here parts! I have the best time watching the goings on at the river RIGHT outside where I'm typing this ... good stuff... I mean if I gotta be sick! ...
Going back to bed ... thanks so much for all your comments. I thought several times today I felt practically normal... then oooo back to bed.
I need a whole lot more sleep I think so. Three or four nights of restlessness and no sleep for this woman is not good. I remember in m'youth when sleep was merely a distraction... HAHaaaa... sigh
Monday, April 23, 2012
|Please click on enlarge and zoom to see these glorious mountains|
I'd say this was a pretty good view to have while eating a three egg scramble with mushrooms, spinach and zucchini... Server guy said there is usually twice that amount of snow on top. ... scary ...
I coughed and I hacked and I thought I was going to die last night. Seriously. I almost passed out from coughing up m'guts! My energy level is terrible! ...
I was to have checked out this morning at 10am. But I just felt terrible! all that itching and now this coughing! I took a shower to see if that would get me moving and stepped out on m'deck ... to get the river wind plus just the calmness of this river.
I laid back down and decided to call Maryann to tell her I was going to take a lil nap and if I'm not down there by 10 ... would it be all right if I just had a late check out. Keep forgetting the time difference and my phone keeps me on Central time which is an hour later. I called their time at 7am. The recording said they open at 9 ... sooooo. laid back down and decided I felt bad enough that I did not want to go boondock in Homer. I wanted to stay right here.
I tossed and turned and hacked and coughed until 9am.... I went in the office - note said she was cleaning a room... so me and Shadow had some cuddle time all to ourselves... haaaa... perked m'ass right up!
We had another great chat and we kinda sorta deduced it was indeed allergies and that she coughed last night too. Told her I think I need some eggs and potatoes. She told me of a little place down and up the hill - plus Safeway was in that same area where I could get cough drops and night time cough syrup. and so I did.... I paid for three more nights.
What a gorgeous area this is y'all. Estes Park. my goodness.
I came back 'home' and hit the sack. I just woke up an hour or so ago and still feel out of sorts but much better. I'm hoping that after a good night's sleep! I'll be raring to do whatever.
While I was still at Safeway in the parking lot, son's SO called and said the baby wanted to call me. We jabbered ... i ov u g'ma and well... the tears started. hurts.
Not feeling good made it even more hurtful. Then while in bed... I pictured myself there with Joe and she and my precious little baby and my son and ... declared again... it just won't work. I can not go back.... but it can and does hurt. The whys and the what's wrong with ME stuff and so on and so forth will be with me for quite some time... but each time, hopefully, I can 'go back' quicker to abate the hurt.
One day at a time.... I'm so tired of being old. i really really am.
Well? DWTS comes on and The Voice and I have no DVR! so I guess I'll flip back and forth. Need to catch up with stuff while I have wifi ... I didn't watch last week's shows and I've just been enjoying the sounds of this river and the peaceful mountain scenes that TV is an eyesore.
BUT .... I love these two shows. and that's good. looking forward to something is good. whatever it might be. I also turned down the most delicious pastries and PIE at this little place I ate.... and ... THAT's good too.
Don't feel like reading much --- I'll catch up on blogs tomorrow... hope everyone is hunky dory.
Life and its subsidiaries....
Sunday, April 22, 2012
I said... well, then what do I know....
Me and Shadow got a little tight... she doesn't like to be scratched on her tummy - just on the back while she's lying down. Maryann said the return people when they call in for reservations want to know if Shadow is still on the job... she's been used on cards and such... HAhaaaaa...
This was the first morning I felt social. I went into the office/lounge and had coffee and had the most wonderful chat with Maryann and well, Shadow. He liked to interrupt by walking over both of us .... the owner guy came in and picked her up... he gave her a great big ol rocking hug... said she was a kitten that just wandered in on the property and he took her in! so cute and Maryann's husband told me about her only liking her back scratched while lying down and proceeded to do such ... cats!
She gave me two TWO places to boondock! I told her about my inability to find a place to stay and what the Visitor Center lady said about no overnight parking. She said well, yeah, she would... but here's two! get down. One is a church right on the river ... she said drive around the back ... I said I'll do it. Also a park on the way down.... outstanding!
I had made my mind up to stay here for another three day thing. I just love it here. But when she told me about these two places! then I can explore and spend a bit of money on tasting the local fare. I do enjoy that. I have been eating what I got at Whole Foods last week. I had also brought my instant ORGANIC oats... from home .... put in fresh blueberries and strawberries and walnuts and raisins... that's what I've been eating since Thursday. Well, oranges and apples and my wonderful cranberry walnut soudough bread I'm glad I also bought.
So, she suggested the Big Horn for breakfast tomorrow... I'll do 'er and then explore and then find these two places. She also said --- after I told her I couldn't make up my mind which direction to go ... to go to Colorado Springs area! I have been there and do think it's beautiful. She told me about Manitoba Springs and so forth. She was really enthusiastic about my going there! ain't that cool?! love it.
Told me the route she took when she went Highways 7 to 36 to 25.... sounds wonderful! I got a plan! HOOrah
Saturday, April 21, 2012
I tried to find campgrounds and such but they were either not open yet or too primitive ... so the nearest Walmart was Broomfield a few minutes away. Good ol Whole Foods and Panera Bread in the immediate vicinity.
I didn't sleep very well Thursday night. I itched and twitched and .. I don't know. The Walmart was in a very lovely area and was very quiet. I stayed at Panera until dusk thirty and was soooooo sleepy. As soon as I got Homer all curtained up and my body washed and moisturized my wrinkles and put my nightshirt on ... laid down... and bingo... wide damn awake. jeeeeEEEZ I hate that.
Finally got the itching to subside and somehow or other managed to get some sleep because I woke up and it was still very dark outside... 3:30am! so did the try to get back to sleep routine --- turned and tossed and itched and said bad words ... until finally I saw light --- 8:30am! hate doing that... felt all fuzzy headed all day. My head needs no help feeling fuzzy.
Soooooo.... decided to come see ol Estes Park. I was here in the middle 70s and just fell in love with this place. Absolutely gorgeous. On the way in, I pulled over every time I could to let cars go by... I refused to go over the speed limit as well as I wanted to soak in all this beautiful stuff.
One of the nicest pull overs was a real pull over place. I saw two older guys bending down looking at something. Looks as though they were even feeding something! So I investigated....
There was at least a dozen of these little guys scampering about up and down the cliff ... jeeeeEEEEZ are chipmunks cute are what!?
Can you see the snow on the peaks? It blends in with the clouds.... but of course, to the naked eye or to a whammo bammo camera! you can sure see it... beautiful beautiful beautiful
Went to several places ... saw in two different places two ladies waterieng the grounds at their little motels. getting ready to open in MID May! .... drove around to two more hotels right in Estes Park and one lady said their water line broke ....but that they were open but couldn't rent because of that!
Went to the Visitor's Center.... I asked the lady about the campgrounds ... she showed me three that were open. One I had passed coming in Hermit's something or other... it was just a field with a tent space! for hiker and kayakers and such.... the other two were within an hour but it was getting dusk thirty and I don't see that well around that time .... I'm fine if I know where I am ... but looking for a place in this two lane winding environment? hah!
Asked her if I could just park there ... it was surrounded by a park... no, no overnight parking... and further there was none any where. I asked her why so many places were closed. She said construction as well as a lot haven't got unwinterized yet. The water was a major problem. ah
So.... I found the local hospital! saw a sign and said ... well, I'll just take a chance there. Got out a couple of magazines and such I fetched from the VC and saw The Ponderosa Lodge! open all year... yay! I thought... oh, jeez this is the place? I came through here with a guy I was madly in love with in the middle 70s and we found this place.
I called them and was given the only deal she had was three nights and the third night free. I grabbed it! ... put the address in my maps thing and saw the sign with an arrow... which said... down this way! I said yes! it is the same place...
Drove in on this tee tiny dirt road and found the office. Not the same owners but got their story. What fun. We stayed in a room with the water going right underneath the front deck. She said after the flood! that they had to build them higher and well.... I posted my pictures of my room yesterday. I was absolutely exhausted and didn't sleep well again.... itched and tossed and turned! but at least in the room... I could get up and walk and look at my water and well... I finally fell asleep because I woke up...
Absolute heaven! and fun memories of ol Frerenze.... a Hungarian ... we lasted about 6 months... HAhaaaa... wonder what ever become of the boy...
I thought the place was in Loveland for some reason.... whatever... life! and its subsidiaries...
I want to write about my journey here --- I was so exhausted. Looking for a place to stay. I tried all the parks and such, Cyn that you so graciously gave the website for. No showers! and man oh man did I need a shower ;)
A lot of construction is going on on a main road Bear Creek Road in Rocky Mountain National Park and some areas are closed. I went to the visitor center and asked if I could just park there. no. Found a little hospital and was going to take a chance there but I reeeeally wanted a shower. Stopped at three different places - not open until May 12th!
The place I found has a history that I want to blog about.... but for right now? I want to share this gorgeous place. shee boy
I've seen lots of things outside my motel rooms in my years... but never an Elk just casually walking down the road ... cars going by. He knows he has the right of way. I liked to have spilled m'coffee! I have a huge wide window and a front deck with glass ... I see a car slow down and a furry legged thing and it's an ELK ... saw some coming up yesterday ... blocked the road they did.. HAHaaaa..... a pickemup scared 'em off. I guess he's used to the Elk taking over the road and this guy was having none of it. I hope you can enlarge this enough to see the guy... what fun!
The view from my side window. I'm sitting here typing with this view. :D The screen fell off and this is a bright, this morning picture. The Fall River looks like sunshine instead of water! Makes glorious sounds tumbling over huge rocks and little rocks and turning corners.... heaven
From My deck.. I have the deck door open ... the sounds from this plus the window being open on the side? please...
My room.... :D
My supper last night --- I had gone to Whole Foods in Broomfield outside of Boulder. I wanted to pick up a few staples - m'fig bars, fruit and nuts. Good ol Yerba Mate green tea... I got a little slice of Brie - it tastes better at room temperature, to me. If I had known I was going to find this place... I would have bought accordingly. I have a microwave and fridge. But this is great. I don't even want to leave to go into town to get anything. This is just heaven.
I wish I could find a place like this to rent forever ... my kind of place. I've always like Estes Park.
I got this room for a three night kinda deal... pay for two nights then the third is free... right. Sooooo for a grand total of $164.56 ... I have paradise for three nights and three days.
After this? I can go a bit between showers and will try one of the no - bath places... I dunno though... I'm not much of a wilderness - primitive type kid. who knows what I am... I change hourly... /nobigdeal
Friday, April 20, 2012
I wanted to write about this very cute little town in Kansas! Garden City. I wanted to stick around a bit more ... I went to the library - loved this statue of Mark Twain. I sat with him a bit. This was truly a very nice sculpture. His eyes!
Another scultpure .. Journey into Imagination... just stellar....
Very cute place... The library had a book section to purchase used books ... hardbacks $2 and paperbacks $1... I go crazy with this sort of stuff... Had a delightful time looking through these books. There was a huge selection! I bought for the huge price of $2... "Ordinary Magic" Chogyam Trungpa ... edited by John Wellwood and "Gone For Good" by Harlan Coben... both seem very interesting. I pick books based on the Introduction and the first page or two .... I have the attention span of a gnat and I like for a book to 'grab' me...
They also had a zoo - I didn't go but drove around it and the little park... I don't like to really go to small zoos ... I'm afraid they'll have the animals in cages rather than open air type enclosures. I'm making a judgement but that's been my experience and I don't like to have those images in my head.
It was very pretty though.
Thursday, April 19, 2012
I'm in Boulder -- absolutely stellar stuff ...
Took keyboard back and will go to either Whole Foods or Panera Bread to get online tomorrow ...
Can't see the snow on the Rockys .... Liked to have had a wreck taking this shot Lol .... so very beautiful and so very calming to see these old mountains ....
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Hours of driving with the above view.... man oh man oh man.... going to Boulder, Colorado EARLY in the morning...
Kinda tired of pickemups and camo and all that stuff...
Little ol lady needed hellp in Walmart this evening. She was looking as though she needed help ... little ol bitty woman hanging on and bent over the buggy with her cane inside.
She wanted a gallon of cider vinegar and the honey that comes in the bear....
I fetched them for her... sigh .... I was helpful... makes y'feel good y'know?
Please dear Universe/God.... I want to die before I get that old and bent and... oh, man...
Good night blog ol buddy ol pal...
Well? don't know what else ... it's a little over 20,000 folks and I'm sitting in this cute little coffee house ... it is an absolutely stellar morning. Blue blue skies.
I left -- where was I yesterday... let's see Tuesday. Ah.... I drove from Wright Patman Lake to Wichita Falls, Texas and spent the night in a very lovely Walmart parking lot. Really was quiet. Got up and made myself decent, went to Atlanta Bread, got online and did yesterday's posting and such .... got lost looking for this and that... nothing unusual there.
Blast it! the maps thing won't let me know if I've gone the wrong direction until the little blue dot moves -- I don't know how far... drives me insane. I've got to fix that. I don't know north from south on a foreign street! Don't care if the sun is wherever it is... I know when it rises where I am and when it sets ... where I am... but when it does its ... oh, earth orbits the sun... what? I forget... yes... we go around the sun. it just sits there. I forget from time to time, my learning.
So... I got lost and saw some very interesting parts. Very pretty city. It's a little over 100,000 ... very nice. Not enough to hang around and explore - I'm anxious to get to someplace that is totally different from what I know. I love Colorado. Surely I have been to Boulder... can't recall.
Love Grand Lake and Estes Park .... anxious to get there but don't like to drive really long distances. Driving up 83 North is quite desolate. I mean places to sleep are few and far between. The highway is narrow and the little towns along the way probably wouldn't like for me to just stop and park... dunno. But I don't feel comfortable in that environment. Sidewalks if there are any ... fold up at dusk.
The fields are very green... frisky little calves and their Mothers (thought of you, Julia) and some ol bulls and donkeys and horses ... dotting the - as far as you can see - fields of green against blue and I mean BLUE skies. Texas is flat y'know.
Interestingly... when you do reach an incline... a Texas mountain... Haaaa.... you can really see forever. There was a very long train moving along with me .... it serpentined about --- looking quite pretty along with the black cows and bright green grass and oil wells still pumping! windmills and barns and well, if I could have found a place to pull over... it would have made a very pretty picture.
I love to hear trains clickety clack ...
It was 7pm when I got to Liberal... much later than I like to drive. This time of year, however, it is still light and especially in this type of terrain .... in Arkansas where it is hilly... the sun disappears very quickly.
I'm about to be totally full of coffee... had a wonderful breakfast of a vegetarian sandwich ... avocado, egg - tomatoes and provolone on a poppy seed bagel... very very good.
My plans are to drive no more than five hours today to Nebraska... McCook - spend the night then go West to Boulder on another back road - 34. I might explore Nebraska a bit. dunno. never been much of a Midwest fan ...
So! See y'all down the road... /bye
Here's a picture of my keyboard and granddaugher! It was her two year old birthday and she's at the Park -- Chelsea promised she'd send pictures and she did... ;)
|Tee tiny return and shift keys ... that's a boo hiss and it doesn't light up at night --- booo|
|Chelsea said ... she told the goose to ... eat, bird, it's lunch!|
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Don't want to turn Homer's lights on in WM parking lot. I drove too much today and am really tired. Even the panhandle of Texas is loooooong ... I'm in Liberal Kansas and am still heading to Boulder.
I want to read everyone's comments and will answer tomorrow when it's light and I'm not so sleeeeeepy ... yawn
Interesting drive today and this keybnoard is going to take some getting used to but bo ius it a whole lot better than the tee tiny iPhone keyboard.
What fun. My touch typing skills are really going to be tested with the teeeee tiny return key and shift key... whoa
Night all y'all ... I have a great picture that goes with that... wish i could retrive it from my computer to my iPhone but dunno how... I'll work on that.
It's Southern speak...
You is singular
Y'all is plural
All Y'all is five or more....
Been tring to explain that to Yankees for years. All Y'all is a bunch of y'alls ...
Looking forward to reading all the comments ;)
What a difference an attitude adjustment makes. The trouble with attitude adjustments is that even though you know you need one .... you've done them a bazillion times and the apathy/complacency sets in.... what's the use ... been there done that kind of potty.
I do believe I've broken the barrier. I've got some of me back. I'm almost afraid to type this because I'm still raw but I'm taking a cosmic chance that the Universe doesn't have a couple more ... nope not yets ... up its beautiful sleeve.
The air is crisp! not a cloud in the sky! I'm in Wichita Falls, Texas with a new plan... number 978... I'm taking one day at a time. I should have never gone back home... however.... it was yet another chapter closed. The chapter that was entitlted ... I have found home... a place to die.
So... woke up yesterday morning and decided to leave the campground ... gorgeous morning --- always after a storm ... the mornings seem so fresh and alive. ;)
This lake I stayed at was really the last location I wanted to look around and see if there was something I could possibly buy or rent to make it permanent to be near my little grandbaby. I had checked another one out on the Arkansas side before coming to Wright Patman ... Lake Millwood... I remembered it being a cute little ol lake with a cute little ol town - Saratoga ... oh, man... fishing camp kinda place.... me man! you woman type environment... shee boy
So, Wright Patman would work but the land around it is way too expensive. I thought it might be. That's the trouble with all the places I could live ... the property has gotten way too expensive for me. If I had done this before getting the house in Little Rock... no... but our savings went to buy that house.
Plus, you just buy the land ... in some areas you have to promise to build a zillion dollar house. sooooooo
I loaded up Homer and headed 20 minutes in to see my g'baby. I called her Mother and we met at Walmart... I wanted to get her a birthday present ... today is her birthday --- two whole years old... precious angel. She wanted to ride a hot dog wagon and so we did... she wanted lots of stuff ... and as with her father... I did whatever she wanted. sigh
Enjoyed the time with her and Chelsea invited me to the birthday party today at Jumping Apes...! haaaa... It was a bit less awkward this time than ever before but still awkward. My son broke her heart and well... I birthed the son that done it.
BUT she knows I love that baby!
Interestingly... another chapter closed. The one entltled ... I have purpose - my granddaughter but she belongs to drama.
Nope... I can not and will not sacrifice any more of my life grasping for straws. The amount of time and effort and pleading and on my knees begging that I have done with trying to make everything work --- my husband, my son and his wimmin and my stepson and his wife and his precious little boy .... mother in law and her boyfriends and and my brothers and and ...
I'm done. I don't know why my life is the way it is. I don't know why I'm the way I am. AND as I've said a zillion times... I just am and I need to get on with it. I can't fix anything... and this trip back home ... proved that no one wants me to.
Get the hell out... I made an impulsive decision to marry who and when I did. The repercussions have been breathtaking. If I hadn't gotten pregnant --- I would have been gone no longer than three years after we were married. wrong wrong move. I've written about the timing... taking care of my Mother who was driving me insane ... so .,... enough of this crap.... onward and I swear each time a negative thought wanders in ... I'm slapping the shit out of it.
I'm on my way to Boulder, Colorado... subject to getting in Homer after having my coffee at Atlanta Bread Co. and turning on the keys... Hahaaa --- I never know
AND that's the beauty of embracing my gypsyness ... it's baAAAaack.... Praise the whatevers! man oh man ... I'm glad to get over so many humps ... gut wrenching .... gonna die ... wanna die.... freaking damn ass humps.
Welcome back, Carolyn .... nice to see ya... ol girl
|Moving right along...|
Such a beautiful just right temperature day with very pretty storm clouds gathering over the lake… the shoreline is rocky with lots of trees… my kind of landscape.
I've got an electrical cord placed inside Homer through his window. I have 'socks' for his two back windows that unfortunately were for a Pilot not an Odyssey but it does help with at least a four inch crack on both windows. When the storm really hit... I unplugged and moved farther into the interior of the park and waited until it subsided. Too close to the water. Lightning is something I truly respect.
|Homer is not intimidated by Class A's and such... no he's not... there were lots of mansions out there and some not so mansions.... Idn't Homer cute|
The next morning? glorious. Thank you Universe/God... man on man you do good work! I'm having coffee inside Homer rather than connecting outside because it was still a bit wet but the windows were all unprotected. My campsite is such with no one around except in the back and I have that curtain up when I'm dressing and such.
|That bit of black at the top of Homer's window is the 'sock' ... and that's my side view|
|My coffee situation below the above side view ... kinda blurry but Homer's not fully awake yet|
|I'm a freakin genuis... this little ol fan holds water - ice water would be lovely... I have it hanging over m'bed and reach up and spray me a nice cool misty spray of water .... very very nice|
.... a hear a HELLO …
A man's face is peering through m'window… have mercy. I had just put my blouse on but was in the process of pulling up m'britches! I have rather dark tinted windows... but!
Now you understand I can't stand up in Homer... I was lying down on m'bed pulling my britches on! jeeeeeeezus
I said… yes? trying to be cool … said he hadn't seen me outside and was worried about me. A very nice little guy … I said, well, how sweet and thanked him. Assured him I was fine. At the same time thinking … how extremely intrusive! I would never walk into someone's campsite. But then my being an old fluffy grey haired women out here all by myself in a van… I mean… I must be coming here to die … I guess… I don't know what he was thinking.
Soooooo went on about my rat killing and took pictures and walked about. Then along comes around noontime and he approaches me with a plate of food!
I was eating an apple and a rice cake with almond butter and raisins on top. I said…well? thank you but I'm… he interrupted and said … now, these are leftovers and we just wanted to share with you… his demeanor was one of concern and I guess thinks since I'm living in a van (I am) and I'm homeless (kinda sorta am) … HAhaaa… oh, lord…. I didn't think I looked THAT bad… I mean my hair is all wind blown and I'm in capris, flops and a silk shirt… so I don't know…. whatever… he was a nice little old feller and I know he wasn't trying to insult me but … jeeeeez
I said thank you….
Ahem… TWO battered and fried pork chops with REAL mashed potatoes and gravy with a slice of wheat bread. jeeeez - just what a fat person needs.
|Being southern is such temptation|
I decided I really had to eat this stuff… I mean this stuff will kill ya but oh, man whatta way to go! anyway… had a couple bites of the taters… and chops … noticed a tee tiny little bird in front of me…. I wanted a picture and he let me get really close. I fed him some of my rice cakes… didn't eat it … such a tiny little thing…
|Can you see him? little thing....|
|What manner of little fellow is he... he let me get so close that I thought something is wrong...|
Then and THEN the wind came about .. holy moly! I went back to the table and m'food hadflown away! hah!
The little guy tried to climb --- yes climb a tree.. and the wind knocked him down on the gravel! he shook his little head and started chirping and I started crying and wanted to pick him up but he looked so scared and so I called the park ranger and they said they would send someone out… meanwhile I'm retrieving flown away food and trying not to cry and watching the little bird ….. I got really close to him and wanted to pick him up again but he jumped to the tree and started climbing… the wind was getting stronger! so I cupped my hands under him … but he kept going higher… his little feet were getting stuck in the bark! but I guess that's what they do… what kind of little bird is this!?
I stood there with cupped hands and followed him around and around the tree … I guess this really gave the neighbors something to be concerned about… haaaaa…
anyway… BAM ZAP ---- disconnected my electric cord and me and Homer went farther into the Park away from the water and weathered the storm.
The ranger never came and I don't see the little bird laying on the ground … JEEEeeez I can't stand to see a little thing hurt and helpless like that…
anyway… here I am using Text Edit to write this and listening to Rod McKuen and the Sebastian Strings … shee boy… made me a cup of cocoa and ate some fig bars… looking out at what would be a sunset if there had been sun today… but it's still pretty.. y'know? the light fading away… the water is calm … the trees are moving about very pretty like … the air is crisp and fresh…
|Using Text Edit to gather --- I say gather my thoughts|
I'm alive and feel good… going to check into getting a keyboard for my iPhone… if I had that… it does everything my laptop does … little bitty screen though for watching DWTS… Maks still looks good though...
Again… thankful for options and electricity and my iPhone and laptop … :D
I'll post this when I get wifi somewhere.
Saturday, April 14, 2012
I remember when this lake was being built. Daddy said ALL that land that you can see will be filled with water.
Grew up water skiing over stobs that had been left by submerged trees!
Attended my first snipe hunt and submarine races here...
Necked with Ricky and slid down the spillway slopes on cardboard.
It has gotten very pretty through the years. This lovely site is $10. It's a Corps park where us old people get half price. Still a beautiful campsite for $20!
Made up my mind to go back to Port Aransas after saying Happy Birthday to m'baby Tuesday... Two whole years old ... the most precious little angel in the Universe .... don't care what you say ;)
Tried to book online but no 30 day stuff ... So called Mary and she said monthly rentals are only for November December January February and until spring break... RATS!
So now what... Ah little bird just flew really close ... Mourning Doves have been mourning all afternoon ... so pretty .... Lil butterflies DAMN gnats!
It's so pretty right now ... sun has gone down ... Pink and gray hues are here... sunrise remnants ... quiet ... lots of folk here but no in your face closeness.
I'm not lonely and love this blessed solitude with nature
It surely would be swell to have someone to go ahhhh with
Y'all send out vibes for me - prayers - whatever ... I'm so very alone.
Going home was the pits on so many levels ... I am truly on my own as I was a hundred years ago.... aimless no purpose ... haha well? 100 years ago I didn't give a rats ass...
But now after all the thises and thats to end up basically homeless and friendless ?
I had some bad dude karma coming .... whoa
So.... One day one hour at a time .... as long as my health holds up .... so grateful ...
I really need to find a way to wrap my brain around these facts along with a limited amount of money... That's the scariest part.
Hopefully next post will be sans pity party... They never last too long but when in the throes ... I'm a real rolling on the floor throwing a tantrum kinda kid...
Well? It's about Homer time ... got electric so will watch a video...might even paint m'toenails pink! I bought some new polish.... Pretty pale pastel pink .... Toes are not attractive enough for RED ...
G'night blog ol buddy ol pal .... Mm someone's night fishing in their boat .... Only noise about...
And hooray no mean lights .... nice and nature hues all about .... don't ever think I'm not grateful for these wonderful options ... wind is kicking up ... supposed to be severe storms tomorrow ... Attendant said maybe I shouldn't be so close to the water ... hah! Beautiful ... I can move really easily ... Just got the eclectic cord inside ... I'll leave it and will come back for it..
Haaa hit two trees backing up .... What in the world would I do if I had something longer than Homer!