What is reality and can it be defined?

I went to Whole Foods today ... did a little shopping. I wanted to see if they had some miracle for my thinning hair.

I got salad and a bowl of chili ... chili is still with me. I'm serious when I say that this getting old business is really and truly not for sissies.

Never know what yer body is going to be or do next.... could be exciting if it attracted anything other than gas and lint.

I'm watching the Game Show Network.. well, I DVR The Match Game... HAHAAAa... so much fun to see the stars and clothes in the 70s... the HAIR!

After TMG ... a new show comes on Lingo! with Chuck Woolery. I don't watch this but the DVR captures a minute or so of it before it stops the recording. I have it set to record the series. Comes on around 10 in the mornings.

Anyway seeing Chuck Woolery --- haven't seen him in eons! this looks like a fairly recent show - Don't know if any of you know who I'm talking about ... he was the first host on Wheel of Fortune then a dating show... Love connection? whatever... anyway, a popular game show host in the 70s.

I lived in San Francisco in the late 60s and early 70s. I drank a lot. The Fairmount Hotel had a great room - The Venetian Room - very fancy schmancy and back then 'after five' clothes were worn. I loved getting all dressed up for nighttime stuff.

My date and I had gone to our 'home' bar for before dinner drinks --- The Iron Duke... aw, man... sigh... Anyway... we came roaring into The Venetian Room.

I see a lovely man in a beautiful dark suit and white shirt... which all men wore back then... I say... (I never wait for dates to say stuff) .... two please. He said... I'll get the Maitre d́. I said, thank you, I thought you were... sorry.

Sooooo we get seated. We order our before dinner drink and then dinner. Then the show began and out walked the guy I asked to seat us. He began his show with... I'm Chuck Woolery and I don't seat people. He did smile and nodded toward me. We had a table in front and well, I smiled sweetly and my date said... well, he said a not nice thing... something like ... holy shit.

HAHAaaa... In my drinking days, I didn't embarrass too easily so we went on and enjoyed his singing. Who knew he had a nightclub act? We never paid much attention to who was playing... we just like to dance and eat. There was always a good show.

oooooo anyone remember or know who Carmen McRae is? She played there frequently ... uh oh ... YouTube...

FUN ... I always do this... go to find a this or that and well there are so many to choose from... been listening for an hour! lol ... ahhhhhhhh I worked in advertising and public relations then and my boss knew her ... she would sit at our table... I had never heard of her... but boy did I love her voice and singing.... beautiful beautiful lady.... If you love soulful jazz... give it a listen... sigh

Inside a silent tear, I have a silent dream

That sometimes sails across the patterns of my mind.

The silence follows me and dreams just disappear

and then I find myself inside a silent tear

Sometimes I laugh too much

to hide the emptiness,

to lose the loneliness.

I'm not the laughing kind.

I can't say anything I really want to say.

I guess I try so hard I stumble on the way.

I'm always finding love when it's not meant to be.

What is reality and can it be defined?

When you're a fool like me it's never really clear

so you have silent dreams inside a silent tear.

I'm always finding love when it's not meant to be.

What is reality and can it be defined?

When you're a fool like me it's never really clear

so you have silent dreams inside a silent tear.

I was young once... I just knew it... totally worthless but... what the hell

Flipping the Bird

HAhaaaa.... I think having gestures and stuff we humans do to express our rage or anger or irritation or even mild amusing whatzats... are funny. Flipping the bird is silly. How in the living breathing hell did a middle finger poking at someone become offensive.

Poking period is offensive but just having your middle finger out and directing it at someone... HAhaaa

Guess I could google the origin ... maybe I will... hold on.

Well lookee heah ---

Origin Of Flipping The Bird

Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers.

Without the middle finger, it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and therefore be incapable of fighting in the future. 

This famous weapon was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known as "plucking the yew."

Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French, saying, "See, we can still pluck yew! PLUCK YEW!"

Over the years, some 'folk etymologies' have grown up around this symbolic gesture. Since 'pluck yew' is rather difficult to say (like "pleasant mother pheasant plucker", which is who you had to go to for the feathers used on the arrows for the longbow), the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a labiodental fricative 'F', and thus the words often used in conjunction with the one-finger-salute are mistakenly thought to have something to do with an intimate encounter. 



It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows that the symbolic gesture is known as "giving the bird."

I never....

What brought this post about, you're thinking?

I don't know.

Carolyn and Hiawatha's philosophy ...

Awwww jeeeez... my little iPhone can't do distances --- I know this but in the middle of the river is a line of at least a hundred white gull looking birds ... just casually floating along with the current... very very pretty to watch. I always have my binoculars with me. Somehow my little camera doesn't even capture what I can see better with just my eyes! gotta get a camera one of these days....

Julia's comment about Little Hiawatha …. prompted me to want to write more about 'our' philosophy… ;)

~~~
First I didn't know what to make of this post until I watched the video. I had never seen this cartoon.

When I saw the canoe going in circle I thought that your canoe has been going in circle too. Then your hunting trip along the beach to find yourself and your return home. Is it time to go on another expedition?
~~~~

There was a movie … well, I had to google… ;) … Pay It Forward starring Kevin Spacey, Helen Hunt and Haley Joel Osment…. I won't give away the ending if you haven't seen it. I do recommend it …

The premise was networking good deeds… here's Wiki's description…
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pay_It_Forward

In the little cartoon… Hiawatha was hunting and finally cornered a little bunny! sniff… and he spared the little guy after much soul searching.

Later on when Hiawatha was about to be slaughtered by a bear! the animals came to his rescue and saved him… the result of 'pay it forward'…

The poem itself is just so sweet as well as enlightening. I love reading it over and over… Hiawatha wakes up… and stands at his door waiting … for?

He realized the air was full of freshness and the earth was bright and joyous… nature in full tilt boogie! Every tree top had its shadow … motionless beneath the water…

Experiencing this … every trace of sorrow was gone … as the fog off the water and the mist from the meadow….

Love this last verse….. WITH a smile of joy and triumph! (over his sorrow?) and a look of exultation….

As in a vision … he saw what is to be….. but is not… he stood and waited….

In my mind … it is peace.

Nature keeps us grounded … and Galen's post today was geared toward nature and the yin and yang of seasons and sorrows…

I'm still in the waiting game… and fight frustration and depression constantly. I made myself get outta bed and go to the river today … well, thank goodness the Arkansas River runs through Little Rock and it's just a hop skip from me…

My old face was hanging down waaaay low. I pulled in and let the window down and breathed in this beautiful day…. then saw a line of white floating in the middle of the river. We have had some stormy rainy weather and the river was muddy and … well, it's always running swiftly … I have never seen this before.

There must have been hundreds of these guys… they look like seagulls white with the black tipped wings… when they fly. I'll find out later.

I'm better now….

Pay it forward...

By the shore of Gitchie Gumee, 

By the shining Big-Sea-Water, 

At the doorway of his wigwam, 

In the pleasant Summer morning, 

Hiawatha stood and waited. 

All the air was full of freshness, 

All the earth was bright and joyous, 

And before him through the sunshine, 

Westward toward the neighboring forest 

Passed in golden swarms the Ahmo, 

Passed the bees, the honey-makers, 

Burning, singing in the sunshine. 

Bright above him shown the heavens, 

Level spread the lake before him; 

From its bosom leaped the sturgeon, 

Sparkling, flashing in the sunshine; 

On its margin the great forest 

Stood reflected in the water, 

Every tree-top had its shadow, 

Motionless beneath the water. 

From the brow of Hiawatha 

Gone was every trace of sorrow, 

As the fog from off the water, 

And the mist from off the meadow. 

With a smile of joy and triumph, 

With a look of exultation, 

As of one who in a vision 

Sees what is to be, but is not, 

Stood and waited Hiawatha. 

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Ahhhhh thank you

I just don't look good naked any more...

Main Entry:	amore
Part of Speech:	n
Definition:	love; a feeling of great affection
Example:	A big pizza pie; that's amore!
Etymology:	Italian

sex |seks|
noun
1 (chiefly with reference to people) sexual activity, including specifically sexual intercourse : he enjoyed talking about sex | she didn't want to have sex with him.
• [in sing. ] a person's genitals (used in novels to avoid more vulgar or anatomically explicit terms).
.....
verb [ trans. ]
1 determine the sex of : sexing chickens.
2 ( sex someone up) informal arouse or attempt to arouse someone sexually.
~~~~~~~~~

I googled love and sex ... not a very descriptive definition when you just google sex... the kama sutra popped up but well, y'all can do your own googling if you can't remember... has to do with kissing and stuff .... I kinda remember ... but then I just don't look good naked any more... primarily due to big pizza pies...

I stepped outta the shower and I gotta good look at myself
Pot belly, bald head, man, I thought I was somebody else
I caught my reflection in the mirror on the back of my bathroom door
I just don't look good naked anymore

So, I'm goin' upstairs and turn the bedroom mirror to the wall
I hung it there when I was trim and tall
I'd stand there and smile, and strut and flex until my arms got sore
But I just don't look good naked anymore

Well, I used to go out with the girls
I loved them one and all
Now they don't get very close to me
They're afraid that I might fall

Well, I went to the Doctor for my annual medical exam
Stood there in the buff, suddenly he said "MAN"
I said "What is it Doc, some fatal disease, I just gotta know the
score"
He said "No, you just don't look good naked anymore

Well, me and my wife had a dance routine
Everybody said it was unique
Now it's only when we're back to back
That we're dancing cheek to cheek

Well, I went to a nudie beech to have some seaside fun
Stretched out in my birthday suit, soakin' up the sun
Somebody yelled, "Hey, there's an old white whale washed up on the
shore
I just don't look good naked anymore

Yeah, my arches fell, my chest went to hell
And my butt's a-draggin' the floor
An' I just don't look good naked anymore
No, I just don't look good naked anymore

Goofy loves to race...

Getting read to take my little g'baby back to her Mother. Having coffee and watching her sleep. It's foggy and rainy. I don't mind driving in rain but I don't like thunderstorm driving which was predicted for this morning. Glad the weather guys were wrong.

I never really think about driving much - I'm a defensive driver. Two days ago two morons --this time young women! - were racing - due to road rage and of course were killed - car absolutely wrapped in half around a pole.... this caused a five car pile up and two deaths and several injuries on the very avenue I will take to take her home.

I always told my son when I was teaching him to drive ... you look out for the other guy - never assume 'they' will stop or turn or do anything they are supposed to.

I've been driving since I was 16. I've traveled across country numerous times. I have no problems with my ability to drive safely. When my son was born at my old age of 42. I became a nervous wreck. I suddenly became responsible for someone other than myself. Traffic I had driven in eleventy million times without blinking an eye became white knuckle stuff!

As I'm typing this -- still wet from my shower, having coffee and getting her stuff together, I'm no longer as white knuckledy ... got over that a bit. But looking at my little boy in his car seat and realizing what a responsibility it is to be responsible for another's life is well, breathtaking.

This precious little angel's life will be in my care to weave through idiots who have a license to drive. Now with the texting and such --- it's even more precarious. This is against the law now - I think everywhere, isn't it? should be.

As I told my son --- what in the hell can someone possibly have to say that can not wait until you are safely stopped somewhere. Then I go into my spiel of having to not only pull off the road to talk to someone on the phone but you had to find a pay phone!

This is almost inconceivable to kids these days.... HAhaaa...

She's waking up.... and I'll be leaving in an hour. I hope I'll be back later to post what a great meal I had at one of my favorite restaurants in Hot Springs. If the weather holds - I will take the loop to go there - about an hour's scenic detour -

A vibe/prayer/plea was sent to the Universe... is it possible that all morons stay outta m'way until I get this little angel safely to her Mother?! Then you can release them - I'll take em on... ;)

Yes... I made it back and I did go to Hot Springs... beautiful drive, The rain was a nice soft rain. HIghway 7 is a major scenic highway through Arkansas from South to North... it is mainly two lanes... may be four in some places... can't remember. It is winding and hilly. I got a gooooood dose of nature.

One of the lakes is Lake DeGray --- ahhhhhhh as soon as I got there and drove over the dam... 20 pounds of stress just swooshed.... I could hear it swooshing....

This photo of Degray Lake Resort is courtesy of TripAdvisor

Hot Springs is a unique little ol place.... full of conservatives yet the first racetrack I was ever aware of --- Oaklawn Park has been there since 1904... now a full bore casino is attached ... very nice --- I always enjoyed the races but after I quit smoking, I just couldn't bear it any longer. They do have non smoking areas but that's a hoot -- no matter what, it blows in yer face. Plus, to me, the heart pounding part is being down by the finish line and seeing your horse come from behind to win!

I had a time figuring out which restaurant I wanted to go to. Finally decided on Chinese because so far, I haven't found one here that I really like. Jeeeeez it was good! fresh fruit and their coconut chicken and so forth.

Then decided to go on through downtown past the track and saw where I had my shop downtown. It's a magic shop now. I mean it's a LIVE magic show.... he moved from one of the old theaters to my shop! it's all black and red now...

I decided to continue on 7 instead of going the other two 'faster' ways ... and took the loop to Gulpha Gorge - the little campground. It is practically downtown on a spring.... very relaxing. Hot Springs itself is a national park, y'know.

A trail at Gulpha Gorge

 As I continued on 7 and turned onto Highway 5 to go to the interstate, I got so sleepy I couldn't keep my eyes open! seriously! I kept slapping myself and finally came to a convenience store and pulled over... put Homer's seat down and took a lil nap! slept about 20 or 30 minutes then continued on my way.... I'm not used to eating all those Chinese carbs and such... man! plus it was still misty and very good sleeping weather ;)

Stopped at a couple of RV places --- two airstreams and a Mercedes van --- all in the 6 figures! hah!

An interesting day... and some gorgeous nature... ahhhh

From the tourist website... this is Highway 7 - don't know which stretch but it's all all basically like this with a town or small city such as Hot Springs sprinkled about...

On a quest for the opposite of weird

WARNING WARNING ... S WORD AHEAD.....


When you live on this planet for almost 69 years… unless you've lived under a bushel  - you will have experienced a bunch of weird shit.

I use the that word because I know of no other that can work. Well, maybe bullshit. I'm on an international group - and one precious little lady - lives on a hilltop in the UK somewhere… blast! if I can remember. She has sent pictures - she is an artist and her work is breathtaking.

She is in her 90s and hasn't posted anything in almost two years. Her daughter wrote to tell us that she has lost her sight and can't type but wanted everyone to know how much she enjoyed our group.


One of the funniest and fondest memories of her …. was when someone said something or other and I called ... bullshit…. this started quite a discourse.  :D

Marietta addressed a post to her long time pal, Phyllis, an American and heading into 90 herself … asking whatever did I mean … what was bullshit?  She explained to Marietta that it was male bovine defecation.

HAHaaaaa... it was further explained that I was the resident Philistine.

Where was I … oh, experiencing a bunch of weird shit…. yes.  I'm really tired of experiencing weird shit… I'm henceforth on a quest for nonweird shit.

I'm first googling for a definition. hmmmm

Googled Weird ---- Antonyms: normal, regular and usual

Well that's a pip... define normal, regular and usual... hah

First google produced -   

There is no specific opposite to the word, What. Who or Where could be very close to being it's opposite.

I argued with one of the group members when he said there is always an opposite. You can break this down into … no there isn't. For every evil person there is a nonevil person? What goes up must come down… but what if it were an accident? Is there a nonaccident?

As I've written many times... I know nothing. I'm intrigued by the notion that some believe there are no accidents. I don't quite get this. We are all preprogrammed? Our number is or isn't up? I don't know. Why did I just miss that intersection when a few minutes after me someone ran a red light and slammed into someone or just leaving a room and a tree smashes through your house and so forth. I don't know. I just don't, for now, believe in - there are no accidents -

That would seem to mean that who or whatever is in charge of eggs and sperm destinations take some from this batch and some from that batch then determine a crowd whut gets the weak sperm and/or eggs? There are indeed genetic factors ... our DNA and RNA ... we even share stuff from Simian apes and prolly dolphins. I'd like that.

Would this be like a sourdough starter? You have to keep a bit of the inferior eggs and sperm mixture to continue the inferiorness. OR would rotation come into play as with crops.

THEN an interesting way to eliminate said weak sperm and egg would have to be determined at a specific time? nah - doesn't make sense to me. I say it's a crap shoot. Then you got all these nosey assed people trying to mess around with women's uteruses - uteri ... well? hells bells back in the knighthood days the guys got to have chastity belts for their wimmin. I wonder what pot of said sperm and eggs a HItler came from... how the hell did he get to be what he was.

Someone in charge said that batch yonder is rancid send it to Mrs. Hitler because? was he an accident? his Mother? was Dubya an accident? how about Tiny Tim - Tiptoe Through the Tulips Tiny Tim - not Dickens' Tim. I'm almost certain Santorum and most Republicans came from a reeeeallly interesting bucket of sperm. Isn't that interesting.... Anyone remember the movie The Bad Seed with Patty McCormack? oooooo

If anyone believes this and wants to enlighten me... I'm all eyes.

Be here now. Be someplace else later. Is that so complicated? ~ David M. Bader

Kills me when people get all het up with philosophy --- same thing with all the Bible quoting business… It is so very easy to say lots of stuff. It is so very hard to implement said stuff. It is also breathtaking that many folk pay lots of money to be schooled to teach or write to the rest of us how the cow eats the cabbage. Or... some even have a natural ability to just 'know' stuff.

Wasn't it Perry who said God said he needed to be President? or was it Bachmann or both... talk about some weird shit... and now we have Newt and Mitt... HAHAHaaaa... they ought to go on the road together - bringing Vaudeville back doublehandledly ...

I'll let this blog know when I come up with some nonweird shit stuff. I'll take pictures.

MIrror mirror on the wall....

If any aspect of your life sucks, getting it unsucked is an inside job. You do not need to import power, for you were born with it; you just need to plug the holes in your bucket through which it is leaking.

The quest is about peeling away the lies and illusions you have been told -- and went on to tell yourself -- that have kept you living smaller than you deserve. When you do, you will be amazed to realize how much you have settled for. Then you will have little patience for halfhearted living and reclaim your right to live from choice rather than default.

If we accept that life is always trying to teach us exactly what we need to learn, we can view everything that happens to us as a gift. Even experiences that are uncomfortable or painful contain within them an important key to our healing, wholeness, and prosperity.

We may have difficulty understanding what the mirror of life is trying to show us, but if we sincerely ask for the learning and the gift in every experience, it will be revealed to us one way or another.

We cannot live the afternoon of life according to the program of life's morning; for what in the morning was true will in evening become a lie.
~Ian Stephenson, Facebook pal... on recovery

Looking in your mirror should reflect love and respect ... it doesn't? ... keep staring

Tail speak

I was reading Arkansas Patti's blog this morning - she was talking about bears... HAHaaaa... and this reminded me of tails.

I wrote a piece about tails a few years back for a group of us seniors who like to reflect on really heavy stuff...

I think my favorite tail is a rabbit tail. My favorite character when I was a kid was Bugs... what a tail.

I wish I could have found one with Bugs impersonating a female. His tail gave him away when he turned to walk away and his skirt was hiked up over his tail.. HAHAHaaaa....

Then take Tweety Bird's tail.... bird tails are really fascinating. Those fantailed geckel guys... duck tails... oh, boy, I think my second favorite tail is a duck's. When Donald got reeealy upset with Chip and Dale? his tail feathers would get quite a work out.

Then take a wart hog's tail... HAHAaaaa... I love going to the zoo just to see the wart hog some days. - I'm a member and just go hang sometimes... pick a particular animal and just watch. Ever since Pumba and Timon... wart hogs have gotten really cuter ...

This was an internet sensation! A real Pumba and Timon! haaaa - whatta tail

Cat and dog tails are very familiar tails. I get tickled watching a cat's tail... you can tell what's going on watching it. I don't like to see a dog's tail go between his legs... I don't like to see a dog beg... hate that commercial - begging strips... I have never thought that was cute.

Can you find Hyacinth Hippo's tail? HAhaaaaa

A HUGE animal like a bear or a hippopotamus having a little tiny tail is hilarious to me. Look at the elephant's tail... goooood bug swatters though. reckon that's their purpose as is a cow's tail. I grew up on a farm until I was 8 and while I never milked a cow, I saw Daddy do it a zillion times and the cow's tail would be swatting flies.


You realize we drink that stuff? I loved our cow, Jersey. She had beautiful eyes. We also had a bull -- his name was Wart ---  he was very mean. He was kept in the back pasture and we weren't to go near him. Of course, my closest to me older brother and I would run to the fence and quickly climb over and say hey to Wart and quickly run back. In retrospect, I think Wart enjoyed our visits.... gave him a fun reason to snort and threaten.

Chickens were a favorite animal. They were hilarious. smelly though. cute little tails... Of course Foghorn Leghorn was also a favorite... and Miss Prissy.. HAHAhaaaaaa

Didn't like snake tails... they were all tail.... I had a dog - Dusty - he loved me - a lot. If I wanted to go walking down the road or go into my woods... Mother would always say... get Dusty. I didn't have to really fetch him... he was always with me. He was just a mixture of whatever dog. A big dog... if he jumped up on me... he would be taller than I by a head! he was gentle and m'pal.

I was playing along the side of our house one day and saw a snake... DUSTYYYYY! he came running... he looked up at me... I said SNAKE... he got the snake and put it in his mouth --- then put it back down... I said.. nono no Dusty ... get it away... Dusty kept picking up the snake -- he even did a going back and forth with his head kinda growling thing.... then put the snake back down.

Daddy came up and said... he's trying to tell you that that snake is a good snake... it's a garden snake - he won't hurt you. I swear to you ... Dusty heard what he said.... he did a up and down panting thing and got the snake and put it in the garden.

unbelievable.... God! I love animals. I remember telling my Mother that when I grew up, I wanted my own zoo.

hey! have I remembered a passion!? Why won't I go to the zoo and be a docent... seriously. I can't work with abandoned anmals... I'm too much of a bleeding heart....

I want a goat. Talk about a tail!

AND a little g'baby's bottom is due any minute! .... I spend a good deal of time when she first gets here showering her with G'ma hugs and kisses.... c'mon! waiting waiting waiting... ;)

Of tadpoles and catsup.....

Can't recall catsup ever being much fun but my little g'baby thinks it's wonderful. I seem to remember mud pie making with those inky berries. If you squished the berries... you could paint a lot of stuff... like pinafores and faces and cats - if you could catch 'em. Cats seem to wise up quickly when their laying around purring is interrupted by little girls with inky berries.

sigh.... I was young once right? I mean... I had to be. I ran and played and tried to skip rocks like my big brothers and climb trees like my big brothers and run as fast as my big brothers.

I do remember being able to finally outsmart 'em when they wanted to get me in a headlock and nuggy my head... nuggy? whatever...

I would run up to them and butt 'em in their behind the knees and run like hell. They had long legs too and I could run through them.

I remember tadpole gathering. I didn't understand tadpoles really. They were fun to watch. Then I realized I was taking them from their mothers and well, I didn't like it anymore. Never cared much for worms either - much to the delight of my older brothers. I remember Dad and brothers baiting hooks with those poor little guys squirming ... jeeeeezus what a way to die.... pierced by a hook and thrown in water to be eaten by a big eyed slimy thing that lived there.

I was raised on a farm - Dad grew and raised everything we ate - the only thing we bought were big barrels of flour, meal and sugar... he even had corn he took to the mill grinding place and so forth. We lived on this farm until I was 8. I had a pine forest grove thing that I made my personal haven. Me and my animals sought refuge there.

Written about this before and well, I may do so again.... I'm not in the happiest of spirits right now... I am f'ng miserable and trying to unf'ng miserable myself.

I do not know how much longer I can make myself stay here. brutal this morning... brutal... brutal brutal brutal... everything I dislike about my current situation has been in play since dawn.... can't do this much longer, blog... I can't.

My little angel is coming tomorrow!!!! oh, freaking sigh... thank you... bawl sniff and get outta here --- go for a walk! quit crying and moaning ....oh, man I am so tired of this shit....

If you wish to understand yourself, you must succeed in doing so in the midst of all kinds of confusions and upsets. 

Don't make the mistake of sitting dead in the cold ashes of a withered tree.

- Emyo

Ahhhh the envious moon

Romeo:
But soft, what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.
Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon,
Who is already sick and pale with grief
That thou, her maid, art far more fair than she.
Romeo And Juliet Act 2, scene 2, 2–6

And so it's another Saturday night..... I got some money cause I just paid... how I wish I had someone to talk to .... haa... ol Sam Cooke ... great song --- I'd post it but if anyone wants --- you know where YouTube is... ;)

For our Saturday night pleasure ol blog... here's a ...

Shakespeare Insult Kit

Combine one word from each of the three columns below, prefaced with "Thou":

Column 1             Column 2            Column 3 
artless             base-court          apple-john
bawdy               bat-fowling         baggage
beslubbering        beef-witted         barnacle
bootless            beetle-headed       bladder
churlish            boil-brained        boar-pig
cockered            clapper-clawed      bugbear
clouted             clay-brained        bum-bailey
craven              common-kissing      canker-blossom
currish             crook-pated         clack-dish
dankish             dismal-dreaming     clotpole
dissembling         dizzy-eyed          coxcomb
droning             doghearted          codpiece
errant              dread-bolted        death-token
fawning             earth-vexing        dewberry
fobbing             elf-skinned         flap-dragon
froward             fat-kidneyed        flax-wench
frothy              fen-sucked          flirt-gill
gleeking            flap-mouthed        foot-licker
goatish             fly-bitten          fustilarian
gorbellied          folly-fallen        giglet
impertinent         fool-born           gudgeon
infectious          full-gorged         haggard
jarring             guts-griping        harpy
loggerheaded        half-faced          hedge-pig
lumpish             hasty-witted        horn-beast
mammering           hedge-born          hugger-mugger
mangled             hell-hated          joithead
mewling             idle-headed         lewdster
paunchy             ill-breeding        lout
pribbling           ill-nurtured        maggot-pie
puking              knotty-pated        malt-worm
puny                milk-livered        mammet
qualling            motley-minded       measle
rank                onion-eyed          minnow
reeky               plume-plucked       miscreant
roguish             pottle-deep         moldwarp
ruttish             pox-marked          mumble-news
saucy               reeling-ripe        nut-hook
spleeny             rough-hewn          pigeon-egg
spongy              rude-growing        pignut
surly               rump-fed            puttock
tottering           shard-borne         pumpion
unmuzzled           sheep-biting        ratsbane
vain                spur-galled         scut
venomed             swag-bellied        skainsmate
villainous          tardy-gaited        strumpet
warped              tickle-brained      varlot
wayward             toad-spotted        vassal
weedy               unchin-snouted      whey-face
yeasty              weather-bitten      wagtail

I'll sing to you each morning...

When I Was Seventeen .... with lyrics..

As I'm sitting here on the dock of the porch... contemplating all the thises and thats of my life. And what has brung me here. Leaving with the one what brung ya.... and so forth, this song came to the forefront.

I've never really had a great relationship with a guy. I've had some great times with guys :D and as I've written ... I was a pretty shallow kid. I miss being shallow sometimes.

At this age - a time for reflection... what a todo my life has been. seriously. For someone who did/does not like to be ordered about ... I fought male domination from the time I was born! --- Dad - two older brothers... bah... it's interesting that I let myself still be controlled in a lot of ways by the men in my life.

I think we, as women... do this... nurturers one and all... we like to kiss and hug to make things better. In my youth... I never really wanted to get serious with a man. Too much trouble and as soon as you had sex with him? ... the domination started which was total bullshit.

The 60s and 70s were eras of free love... /blush .... we women were liberated from the 50s good girl bullshit. We could enjoy sex and not feel guilty or feel as though we had to procreate... OUR DESTINY... bullshit again.

We've come a long way baby.... but yet... we haven't in so many ways. Women love to love... I think so...

interesting bullshit, ain't it?

Sing it Gale.... sigh

We'll sing in the sunshine,

We'll laugh every day,

We'll sing in the sunshine,

Then I'll be on my way.

I will never love you,

The cost of love's too dear.

But though I'll never love you,

I'll stay with you one year.

And we can sing in the sunshine,

We'll laugh everyday,

We'll sing in the sunshine,

Then I'll be on my way.

I'll sing to you each morning,

I'll kiss you every night.

But darlin' don't cling to me,

I'll soon be out of sight.

But we can sing in the sunshine,

We'll laugh everyday,

We'll sing in the sunshine,

Then I'll be on my way.

My daddy he once told me,

"Hey, don't you love you any man.

Just take what they may give you,

And give but what you can."

And you can sing in the sunshine,

You'll laugh everyday,

You'll sing in the sunshine,

Then be on your way.

And when a year has ended,

And I have gone away,

You'll often speak about me,

And this is what you'll say:

We sang in the sunshine,

You know we laughed everyday,

We sang in the sunshine,

Then she went on her way.

Bye Etta James

At Last is some kinda song... I had it for my ringtone for a long time. Just read Teresa's blog

http://teresaevangeline.blogspot.com/

She gives a lovely tribute... so I won't....

I love what Teresa said ...  

"I wasn't in love with a person, I was in love with life, and it was my song. Thank you, Ms. James, for keeping me company."

sigh

Forever blowing bubbles...

 
It is through not understanding, not penetrating four things

that we have run so erratically,

wandered on so long in this round of existence, both you and I.

What are the four?

Goodness, concentration, wisdom, and liberation.

When these four things are understood and penetrated,

craving for superficial existence is rooted out and that

which leads to continued return to the same conditions is ended.

There is no more constant journeying.

- Digha Nikaya

okay... I'll buy that.... implementation? oh, baruther....

A quote from Allan Lokos’s new book, Patience: the Art of Peaceful Living" ---

In the Buddhist tradition, wisdom is said to arise when we see things as they really are, not as they appear to be. Yet to transform our usual views, opinions, and perceptions so that we can see the true nature of things can be a challenging process. It is a part of our journey that can require great patience both with ourselves and with others. 

Wisdom is all too often painfully earned. As Confucius said, “By three ways do we attain wisdom. The first is by contemplation, which is the noblest; the second is by imitation, which is the easiest; the third is by experience, which is the bitterest.” Seeing things as they really are, rather than through the distorted lens of conditioned perception, can be challenging to the intellect as well as to our patience.

In my ongoing quest of making peace with m'self... I find the Buddhist philosophy fits me. As I've said in several posts... I'm not a religious person. I do not like man made religions. As far as what I do believe .... I do not know. Again, I repeat....

I just know that I know nothing.

Finding peace within ourselves is an interesting endeavor. My son finds peace through running. My husband finds peace through computer games, sports and beer.

I find peace hearing my little g'baby laugh ... that beautiful little smile of hers... everything seems to just go away. It's just her precious little self and me. I wish I could have that every moment. BUT I can't. I got two cats. DRIVE ME INSANE....

I find peace in nature... I love to feel a light breeze on my face. Sitting on a rock in the desert watching a sunrise/sunset... lying by the bank of a river rolling over rocks .... sitting on a rock on top of a mountain/high hill  ... watching dolphins play and pelicans swoop ... buzzards circling -- doing their job of cleaning up --- cows mooing... horses neighing ... little puppy smells and kittens getting tangled up in something or other... little kids screaming with delight at something or other -- doesn't take much - trying to catch bubbles... holding a balloon, whatever.... anything that rolls or makes racket.

lots of stuff to smile about ... sigh....

Peace

M'stuff strutted off... rats

You can be an ‘almost’ 69 young lady and hunt down a fulfilling relationship. This relationship could be with yourself, a new one and it could also be the current one. It is your choice. You might seek one where there is tenderness, comprehension, and/or humour or work that in now. As far as time, if my theory holds true… and your mother died at 94… you might still have 30 years ahead! I am NOT judging, I don’t know what is better for anyone, most of the time; I have no clue what is better for me. I am only starting to understand that if something smells funny… it is not always coming from a clown.

sigh... an excerpt from m'blog pal Richard... The 'stuck' part has certainly been my age --- in my head.

I listened to Jane Fonda -- a real inspiration to me -- on Oprah's Master Class. I read her blog - it's listed on my blog roll. She just turned 74. Her outlook on life is what I used to have. me? old? .... never

I'm still not old in the silliness department. Glad I retained that!

My son came in from running (he's been staying with us for almost two weeks). We just had another good talk together. He read Richard's blog and said... yes, Mom... G'ma lived to be 96-1/2 ... that's a long time... She was an unhappy little person. As I've mentioned many times, I spent most of my life trying to not be her.

And, here I am... giving up it seems. I didn't think I was but ... yes, I guess I am. Why bother? I'm tired. I left home at 18 and lived quite a life until I married at 41 --- baby at 42.

So.... I run away at times to get my strength and joy back. I really had to force myself to leave for Port Aransas. I listened to my videos and hear the joy ... can't believe I sound so damned dorky! but what I hear is the joy.

I want that ... I want it everyday. My husband... my son... my g'baby. .... All come with complications. The memories of hurt... stagnation... frustration... fearfulness... walking up hill... crying, moaning, banging my head against a wall! HAH... my son reminds me of when I threw a chair across a room...

I never had much of a temper until about 10 years into my marriage. The frustration! Gawd.... when things happen and there's not a damn thing y'can do to fix it?! I go insane.

I have always been the kind of kid when I tackled anything new ... which was pretty damn constant... my first step was to find what could go wrong ... that's the way I learned. Fixing problems ... I love challenges.

Running away is the only thing I can come up with these days --- don't have a clue how I can 'fix' stuff -- been trying tooooooo long ... I haven't gone into a lot of detail about these last years... especially since 2005 when my life turned to complete crap.... and I won't write about it... that's what my private blog is about.

Just know ... that I want to fix me. I'm tired of starting over 912 times... BUT ... what's the f'ng alternative... stagnation??? I'd sooner die.

I want to go to the hair salon and say FIX ME ... HAHaaaaa... might be there a week or so... I would like to feel good about myself. I go for days with just throwing my old gray hair back in a twisty thing with a clasp.... no makeup ... red furry houseshoes... and sweats... what a picture.

I get a handle on things when I'm running away.... but what I'm running from is still there. What am I running from? me. I don't like how I handle things when there is adversity. The frustration comes from the hope and planning and then for the 922nd time ... it's all out the door. Like the hoping and planning never existed. I've been down this road too many times. I have no control. no... I don't. If I did? .... it would have been fixed. I could not live with myself if I just ran away for good. So??? back to my mantra - if you can't flee, flow and read my header quote 9,000 times.... right.

Thought we ALL had a plan ... and now it's back to having to fight once again ... no communication ... d r i v e s  m e  i n s a n e ....

I want to run and play and sing and skip rope... to hell with facing unpleasant stuff. I don't like it.... Well??? who the hell does... but they handle it. So... now to Plan Z squared.

Grow up, Carolyn and then get back to being a kid again... tricky business

YAY ... Robert's Pier.. !

***rats*** Julia just told me that she couldn't watch because it was private... HAHaaa.... I changed the settings...

Well? if you can stand the narration, singing and wind noise ... and my being the world's worst video taker.... come along with me for a dolphin hunt....

I am soooooo relieved to FINALLY find out how to do this. What an ordeal! One of the reasons this video wouldn't upload was size. I thought ... well? how can I edit it down? no way.... so YouTube help said I needed to increase my size... and proceeded to tell me how.

How about that. I did and it did and here it is ... recorded on my iPhone... so, I mean -- it ain't art... really?

jeeeeez I enjoyed that last walk on m'dolphin pier... It's officially called Robert's Pier but I claimed it.

/bye dolphins...

Gorilla yang

Animals are something invented by plants to move seeds around. 

An extremely yang solution to a peculiar problem which they faced.  

~Terence McKenna

A gorilla with a basket might appear to be a bit peculiar to some. 

I've been feeling peculiar all day. Of course, peculiar is relative for me. Some mornings when I wake up... I have a pleasant feeling. Some mornings I wake up and feel discombobulated - no explanation for either feeling.

I very seldom have nightmares --- usually they're action comedy dreams. The characters in my dream parade in front of me while I'm standing on a review platform. I've had that particular ending many times... HAhaaaa

I think dreams are the yang to yin daytime life experiences ...

Taking command of our lives is quite an undertaking. I do not know how people go through all the potty you have to wade through to work, play, eat, drive and share the remote without a sense of humor. I really don't.

From Tioga George losing his son to suicide to Sheryl losing her Dad to Teri losing her husband to Miss Mermaid almost dying and writing about it from her hospital bed! to Sue's and Galen's sons and to all of us for trying to figure out whatever it is we are supposed to figure out.... blogging is quite enlightening. 

As soon as I hit publish... I will remember someone else's blog I have read and wished I had mentioned. I've already mentioned a few before this post... gotta pay Roxanne some beads for stealing her stuff...

always something

"I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind.

Some come from ahead and some come from behind.

But I've bought a big bat.

I'm all ready you see.

Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!"

~Dr. Seuss

Turn and Face the Strain

Well, again, I'm going to utilize a post from one of the blogs on my blog roll... I wrote this last night

Good Luck Duck - posted an interesting post today. I commented on her blog and wrote a novel... Roxanne and Annie travel about in a Class A RV! towing a --- jeez can't remember what it is... a Jeep Cherokee? something like that... I've even ridden in it.  CRS!

I'm going to repost a part of her post and my comment. Why? because changes are necessary. I think so. Who we are inside is a composite of all the people... all the experiences we have encountered on our life's journey. We are a product of our past. Living in the past is no good.... learning from our past is good. Knee jerk reactions from our past is bad. Learning to flow when you can't flee is good.

I have always had the personality and persona that people either really liked me or really disliked me. I treat everyone the same ... so I figure that's their problem. wup! feel a quote coming on....

“What other people think about you is none of your business.” ~unknown.

So without further ado.... here - without her permission - is a part of her post:

I told a friend once that I hoped this thing we're doing would change me.  Not that I needed to erase some smelly, evil smudge on my soul - I like my smudges, thanks - but, that I wanted to sense that how I see myself has shifted. Continues to shift with time.  It seems, though, that you can't even begin such a project without changing;  that it isn't possible to seriously conceive of starting a life over without already having permanently shifted.

Lots of you have started over, sometimes more than once.   Are you willing to share what changed for you on the inside?

Interesting comments she has gotten so far. I won't post this until tomorrow. I'm sure there will be more comments. I would like to solicit your thoughts also... interesting topic.

My comment -- in part:

Travel changes us... that's why I like traveling. well, as I told m'kid... expands one's horizons...

I'm still trying to figure out what it is that I want to be when I grow up. I don't want to be a grownup and so y'see there's always that conflict... bah

I constantly seek change. I thrive on learning new things daily. It really really is a trip ... our lives. Meeting people who touch our lives both positively and negatively help us learn about ourselves.

Learning about people who are different from us… their world. Fascinating. Each of us has a world… why we were put in our particular world is well? am I writing a blog post… HAHaaaaaa oh, me… I do like to go on

Each decade or each transitional period each of us experiences --- whether leaving home… leaving a job … retiring … lifestyle changes… whatever… changes as we age. What I wanted at 18 was totally different from what I wanted at 28 and so forth.

The trick of learning oneself is some kind of magic trick that no one we know can divulge how it is done. Some think they do because they need to find an explanation and will grab onto what makes sense to them. They do not like to seek.

The people who finally learned how it was done are dead.
~~~~~~~~~

Sometimes when I'm stopped at a red light... I look over and see who's beside me. He/she has a story - wonder what it is. The fact that I'm me and not someone else ... fascinates me.

Why am I white, female with a dadblasted non pie eating metabolism... I've written before about my request to the egg and sperm organizer to please ... seriously... next time? give me a pie eating metabolism.

Some things that have changed me inside so far --

• Rebellion from parents
• Bad relationship choices
• Being a doormat
• Not being a doormat
• Being an extrovert
• Learning to accept the fact that not all people think I'm wonderful
• Being unable to come to terms with my 'looks' - I was made to feel guilty and ashamed... yes, really
• Feelings of unworthiness - I've found that most women suffered from this who grew up in the fifties - always be a good girl --- society

Why wasn't Jimmy Stewart my Father or Albert Einstein or Milton Berle or Red Skelton or Ozzie Nelson.... wonder what I would have been.... if I had had even one ... ONE lousy someone who thought I was special in my formative years... and well.. in my non formative years.

yeah I know... there goes my poor me routine... but dammit it's true.... I was taught to be humble and obsequious ... that just didn't feel right .... didn't care for it a'tall AND well... it's hard to be humble when you're perfect in eh ver y way hay .... whatever happened to Mac Davis!

oh, me... I feel a YouTube coming on ...

Sigh ... Life and its subsidiaries... I get weary and sick of trying --- I'm tired of living but scared of dying.... but ol man river... he just keeps rolling along...

Reckon that's what I like about rivers... they're here --- they have had their courses changed by nature... but then they just pick up wherever they are and keep on rolling... I like that

Assholes Anonymous

Blog pal, Richard, got into a little hot water with his crew at work because of a comment he made about assholes on this blog.. HAHAaaaaa.... Just told him about Assholes Anonymous on facebook....

It really is hard on us nonasshole people living amongst the assholes. We have to be strong.

I further suggested that for anyone who reads your blog and recognizes their assholeness ... there is a Facebook Group...

https://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=11248153876505

Thought I'd repeat it here. Here are some he listed:

• Going to the fast check out (12 items or less) at the grocery with a full shopping cart – asshole!
• Drivers that don’t slow down in bad weather conditions – assholes!
• People that smoke everywhere when there is a designated place for them – assholes!
• In a parking lot, when your flasher is on but someone just cut you off and park in your spot – asshole!
• You are a politician – asshole!

I added ---

• People who mumble when they know you're hard of hearing are assholes. 
• People who do not replace the toilet tissue are assholes.  

I'm adding further ---- (submit your own) !

• Men who have bellies and their shirts don't fit down over said bellies and look at a female walk by and criticize her for having a muffin top are ignert assholes.
• Women who wear low rider jeans and very tight tops producing said muffin tops are ... well, not assholes but just ignert. hah

AND, I truly think assholes are born.

Submitted by Carolyn, your asshole decider.

To shallow or not to shallow ...

I went to the Apple Store this evening to try and make sense of iMovie. I upgraded to an unlimited time camcorder app a couple of weeks ago.

My MacBook Pro does not recognize it when plugged in with the USB cable. When I click import from camera... it automatically goes to the Mac built-in camera and my face shows up REEEAL big... scared the compound potty outta me.

Reminded me of that YouTube video of the senior couple trying to understand their Skype... HAhaaaa...

Anyway... it was determined that my OLD 3G does not allow the upload from this app to my computer.... total and complete bummer! It is time for an upgrade which the 4Gs have the built in Apple camcorder --- not an app. And so well I've blown a whopping $1.99... My videos will transfer HOPEFULLY to the new iPhone.

It seems I could upload to YouTube. It will upload a small one then YouTube gets cantankerous and says no - authentication failed - wrong password and such. IS NOT... I dunno. Driving me insane. I've googled and I've yahooed and I've forumed and I've Apple stored  --- nothing

The Genius Bar guy was the one who finally said... the app will not work from my current 3G with the Mac... ok --- but why not to YouTube... he doesn't have a clue ... and quite frankly I know he doesn't give a patoo... it isn't an Apple thang.... HOWEVER ... I betcha if I had been some sweet young thing... he would've cared more... Hahaaaa sigh

The Apple Store as I've mentioned before is in a new money area. Gorgeous shopping outdoor type shopping center... along with this are the people in suits, well groomed people in the latest fashions and have the look of wealth.

I was taken aback a bit --- surprised me - an unexpected emotion or thought ... I used to live in that up-to-date business world. I played and lived in great areas of a city. I don't think I owned any shoes other than spike heels! I really don't. Even my house shoes had to have some sort of heel because my back would kill me from wearing heels all the time and I needed to always wear some kind of heel... Weren't we something back then ...

Anyone remember when pantyhose came along and freed us! wonderful wonderful invention. Oh, man those garter belts and girdles and such.... no wonder we were allowed to be grumpy monthly...

Again... I'm reminded of how my life has taken so many turns. How did I end up where I am. It isn't bad. It isn't anything other than a different lifestyle than what I was used to.

Going to the best restaurants and clubs. Buying clothing and shoes and such to go to such places. Dressing up. Hair salons and manicures.

The reason I'm writing about this is to try and come to grips with the fact that I will be 69 in two months. I am not where I thought I would be. I'm not living a lifestyle I want. Really, Carolyn? What news to my blog... jeeeez broken record

I do not care about getting dressed and prepped ! every morning and fighting traffic and bosses and plastic people --- the rat race --- I'm very thankful and grateful for what I have ....

So how does this translate. Unsatisfied. boo freakin hoo. There are people who would kill to have had my opportunities and even what I have now. I've mentioned before my two childhood pals are very successful and still living that lifestyle. I'm happy for them but we travel in different circles now.

My journey... ongoing and despite my quest to be UNshallow ... I miss being shallow sometimes. Isn't that something.

My Little g'baby is better today ;) This picture is of her dancing, Chelsea says she's reeeal itchy and is wearing her onesies to cover her little precious legs...  little angel

Doing her happy dance in a bag... and being reeeal blurry

What a good little mommy

Can you describe consciousness

One definition is the fact of awareness by the mind of itself and the world: consciousness emerges from the operations of the brain.

That's a loaded question, eh? emerges from the operations of the brain... define operations... /hmm

Precious little angel. Trying but nice day. My son and I talked and talked and talked. We love our baby. We stayed until she went to sleep. sores inside her mouth and outside... little eyes were so tired looking... breaks our hearts.

Baby mama was unusually pleasant and cooperative. I'm mentally exhausted -- nice to know I have a mental to get exhausted.... encouraging

A little grain of sand can?

 rats ... I don't have a scanner so tried to take a picture of a picture on my nightstand with my iPhone... HAhaaa... oh, well you get the drift... I'm crazy about him... this was his fourth birthday and my 46th was in a few weeks.

The baby is sick --- chicken pox and strep throat! little thing! So we are heading to her early in the morning. Her Mother and her Mother believe in drugs. This is a very sore spot between us and them.



The Mother will give the baby Tylenol BEFORE she even gets her shot so she won't get a fever. sigh

If she has a sniffle --- whatever! they will give her drugs. She has been sent  here with no less than three bottles of medicine each time we get her. Her immune system is shot.

The doctor told her today that her immune system is very weak. Of course they attribute this to her constant infections! and colds ... I can't stand it.

Yates and I don't know what to do. He tries to talk with her Mother but she gets her beliefs from her Mother who was a nurse for a brief time!

The custody stuff just keeps us so stressed out.  We just want what's best for the baby. Her Mother and other Grandmother love her dearly. They are an evangelical Baptist Bible Belt crowd and well, we're Hello Moon kinda people. We don't mind them being what they are and we'd never bad mouth or try to change anyone's minds. We just want her exposed to nondrug healing and lifestyle along with freedom to choose and believe as she feels.

Just don't want her raised to harbor feelings of that mindset who are against gays ... who are against poor people ... who are against any other religion but theirs ... who are prolife .... who don't and can not understand or want to even consider that a woman's body should be governed by her not the damn government or man made religion. We reeeally got into it one time when they were praying for the demise of Planned  Parenthood ... heathen stuff!

Try to explain to them that PP is not about abortion ... don't care if you want or do not want an abortion ... irrelevant and none of your's or my business. It's up to a woman and her belief system.... KEEP OUTTA MY UTERUS... anyway... we have a lot of basic differences.

My being raised in this type of environment messed my head up for years... makes me even more intent upon 'saving' her..

tricky business this

I got lots to say on these subjects. I attended a Socrates Cafe meeting this evening at a library. Very interesting. I feel a post coming on... ;)

ahhhhhh life

It isn't the mountain ahead that wears you out--it's the grain of sand in your shoe.

- Robert Service

Hello ;) miss you

Being a pussycat is a constant hazard

"Do one thing every day that scares you." 

~ Eleanor Roosevelt

nah.. can't do it. I've tried. I stole that from a Facebook pal. The only thing that scares me really is my health. Going to a doctor or dentist or an ophthalmologist -- even an optometrist.

I have whatever that phobia is -- scared of white jackets --- one ophthalmologist told me this. My blood pressure can rise 20 points by just signing the -- I'm here sheet. I do not like it.

But to go where no woman has gone before or try something new doesn't scare me... it excites me. The biggest and largest scare/concern is my kid... I have got to get my fear of something bad awful terrible happening to him checked. I'm okay when I'm busy. Solution? get busy.... where's my motorhome. I'm ready.

I'm not interested in bungee jumping, free falling, dancing with rattlesnakes or walking in downtown city areas after midnight or jumping in a cage with a beautiful tiger. I'm not scared of this.. well? I mean I don't want to do it so being scared would be a moot situation.

It's all relative...

I've sung a lot of songs

Why aren't I there. Seems like a dream.

I've been so many places

In my life and times

I've sung a lot of songs...

(click on more for lyrics)

blue day y'all... hard to keep my nose up ... but I always find a way to do so ...
yeah I do

There's three kinds of men in the world: The one's that learn by readin', the few who learn by observation, and then there's the rest of 'um who just have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.
~Will Rogers

Pig Unemployment

I relate to pigs and won't eat 'em. I have but I don't like it. And... I quit... never did eat anything but bacon. Poor little guys.

HAHaaaaaa… pigs were used to snort up truffles but they ate 'em so the chore goes to specially trained dogs…

I'm so glad I have a TV.

Holy moly! $1000 for a hand full??? man! what makes them so expensive. A $150 hamburger? because of truffles? …

wait a minute hold the phone.

Two pounds of white truffles sold at an auction for $330,000? get out of town…

Who discovered truffles and then decided those really unattractive fungi were good to eat? Look at those guys... how in the world did the farmers determine these things were good t'eat? I've often wondered the same thing about a thing that dropped out of a chicken's bottom. I mean...who?

I'm gonna google.

hah… here's an excerpt and here's the web site for the terminally bored and/or insatiably curious.

http://www.bigsiteofamazingfacts.com/history-of-truffles

 

The scene: winter in a wooded area of southern France. A group of farmers moves among the trees, following the meanderings of a half-dozen pigs. Suddenly, one of the pigs noses into the dirt, grunting and snorting in hungry anticipation, and begins to dig into the ground with its hooves. The farmers rush over and chase the animal, then complete the excavation job. Yes, they’re searching for buried treasure, but what kind? They’re hunting for the most expensive natural food in the world: truffles.

...

Most truffle hunting, however, is carried out with the aid of specially trained pigs or “rooting hogs.” The pigs are better at scenting out the truffles, but they present the farmer with an additional problem. Once a pig locates a truffle, he’s likely to gobble it right up before the farmer can chase him off. The pig’s palate, it seems, is as partial to the truffle as man’s. Farmers can train pigs to search for truffles in a matter of days, but it may take two or three years to teach them not to eat their find!
 

I never

The importance of stuff

Lots of things I like but housework is NOT one of 'em. I do not know how someone who downsized five times to live in a 5th wheel then just minimum stuff to an apartment on a lake to another apartment in the city where I decided I wanted to live to buying a small house … intending to make it like a cabin in the city.

Just had plants, a couple of beds, family photo albums and the residue from my shop and a few wicker pieces with two office chairs - one desk and a laptop pedestal thang and a small flat screen TV.

Now I've got so much dadblasted stuff… I have to move stuff to get to stuff… how did I do this! said I'd never do that again. hah

Anyone remember George Carlin and his routine on stuff? HAhaaaaa…. I probably need to YouTube.

Kills me... y'all cover your sensitive ears ... he says the s word... which for him is mild... goofball - love 'em

I've started in the kitchen - it's an eat-in one. I have my shop stuff stored in the recessed corner. Then a baker's rack with a little TV with the DVD player all in one for my little g'baby to watch Pooh Bear… talk about cute?! I have her a rocker with a little throw and she climbs in that and watches Pooh… HAHaaa…

I've been cleaning and throwing away stuff and rearranging … exhausted… AGAIN, how did I do this….

Joe keeps texting me pictures of the RV - the roof was covered in pine needles and after clearing them it's almost black … he used Dawn and bleach to clean it -- don't think you're supposed to do that but I ain't saying nothing… I'm just tickled he's finally doing what we needed to have done four years ago. The slides won't go all the way in. wup… he just texted with another picture saying .. all in … ;)

It was a gorgeous RV… natural wood inside with etched glass cabinet doors. Great fridge and microwave… middle full bath and the back bedroom with mirrored closet doors and quite large. Great windows throughout.

We thought we could live in it and build a 'tree house' kind of home on the property. BUT problems with his Mother and her boyfriend and our ever deteriorating relationship and so on and so freaking forth… didn't work out. I just got the hell outta there as soon as my Mother died.

That was in 2007 ... I got in Homer and we hooked 'em. Joe had a vacation.. he left his truck at the yard in Illinois.. I met him - took him to his pal's home in Colorado Springs. I played around in the area until his vacation was over --- went back and fetched him to take him back to his truck then I headed north to Lake Superior and every where in between. I followed the northernmost route to Niagara then on over to Maine and followed the coast all the way down - including Key West and hated coming back 7 months later for Thanksgiving.

I was totally not coming home then. LOVED traveling in Homer. I didn't live in him. We were constantly on the go - everywhere. I stayed places for a few days or a week and sometimes rented a room but most of the time I was just exploring. Had a fine time and full of my youth's adventurous spirit. Then home and spirit killed. And, well…. on and on.

So in anticipation of being free - with my own little turtle home … I'm cleaning out the debris gathered in this house for a year and a half. All the thises and thats that couldn't be finished because our remodeling money went for my kid and his kid and it's still ongoing. I give up.

Bless his precious heart. I want so much for him. He has to find his own path. I can only do so much. I know this. But the combination of his turbulent early 20s … my Mother and brothers and husband….

seriously… I'm going to go buy me a tiara… that's right… a damn tiara and go get a cupcake… damn! this place over here makes gooooood cupcakes… that's all they do is make cupcakes! expensive ones too. gonna get one… and I'm going to wear my tiara doing so… they will look at me and I will smile and say… I'm a saint with a tiara... Christian martyr -- and they might give me a free one… at least a saint's discount… wouldn't that be something

tra la la

Mine is the sunrise

Nothing like watching the Cotton Bowl with my son. AND we won... Whoooooo Pigs! great game. Just he and I. sigh

Wow... they played in the new Cowboy's stadium. The old Cotton Bowl was a great place. Many memories. It was on the State Fair grounds ... saw many a Cowboy game there. Then came Irving and now the Arlington Stadium.

This feeds my oldness... sheeesh

Joe's on board with the motorhome after doing what I've done for almost 28 years... letting him stew and think and ponder and muddle and so forth... then I write an email outlining everything - in detail. This is how we communicate best - in writing.

So on with the plans of buying a small motorhome ... be fun looking for one until the RV sells. He'll be gone all weekend at his Mother's. Hope he can make peace with her. She's in bad health... never liked her but she is human? yeah she is... slap my wrist.

Peace.... I feel a little Cat coming on.... ;)

Easy? surely I jest

This isn't Joe and it isn't the Little Red River in Heber Springs, Arkansas... but it sure as heck looks like it.... except Joe has a skinny butt... ;)

In my latest rant post I related how Joe didn't want to talk about the RV. He comes in this morning… his route puts him home every other day and all weekend… grabs some tools and leaves.

I call him and ask … what? He said he was going to stop by the RV on his way to Waco. (his route)

hooray! finally!

He did and the report is that it is still a very pretty RV. The tires are ok and the battery burst? from the cold but he thinks he can charge it enough to put the slides in. Everything else seemed to be okay. The carpet which is an aqua kind of color is not. I wanted to replace that anyway … with wood as I want to do with this house.

Saw his Mother and her live-in boyfriend... chuckle ... He likes neither of them .... especially him. They met at a LOWS get together almost 20 years ago! They loved to camp but they did so within a few hundred mile radius.

NOW … he wants to bring the RV here. Her boyfriend's truck is having computer problems… big ol thing that pulls big ol fifth wheels and such. His health is not good and his Mother's is not good. They don't go any where any longer. The truck has been sitting there for a year. He will sell it to us for $1500. I say… you've got to be kidding.

So we had a phone and texting screaming thing… lol

He wants to move it up to the Little Red River - which is a beautiful place. I went up there not long ago and wrote about it with pictures. I like it there. We went there many times when Yates was little. Joe likes to fly fish. Great trout river.

Now… y'see? He just had over 8 days of vacation…. I wrote about what all he did… went out four times - the rest of the time? played computer games. I know that he will not do this. I will still be here waiting for him to move the RV.

He says the motorhome will be too expensive. I said… over selling the RV and buying and fixing that gas guzzler truck??? Plus having to depend on you to move it every 14 or 15 days??? … I forget what it is at a Corps park or state park … There is no private park we would be interested in plus the fee ---don't know how that would solve anything.

I would live there until he decided to come up? I don't want to live in Heber Springs... it's a tee tiny resort town... he knows that! so.... he's going to go up there --- waaaaay outta route when he's here every other day and weekends??? his route is North Little Rock to Waco, Texas .... South!  Heber is a little over an hour north! what? right

Makes sooooo much sense. He still just doesn't 'get it'. Regardless, I will have to check the code for our house if we can even park the RV here… I don't think we can. But a small motor home like I want, we can. The RV would have to extend into the back yard …. too big... we share a freakin driveway! this is the city... sigh sigh sigh and sigh

Regardless, he won't do it. I've been married to him for almost 28 years. I know him. I just go insane trying to reason and talk with him.

I would have loved for him to have gone fly fishing again … anything… something… he hasn't in years! He goes and buys all the whammo bammo stuff … from waders to rods to vests to a zillion lures or flies --- whatever the things are you catch the little guys with… unbelievable.

It's simply that he doesn't want to cooperate…. he's going to be difficult… did I really think it was going to be easy? really?

Sooooo I'll figure something out … I'll find a way to live in Homer. I would prefer to be able to stand up and have a little motorhome but... it looks as though it ain't gonna fly without energy that I just don't have right now.

My baby is coming the 16th ... I could just go away and come back when we get the baby.  JeeeeezI wish it weren't too cold to stay in Homer within a couple hundred miles! Beautiful stuff around here but too cold to sleep without heat! No fun sitting in Homer at night watching a movie freezing... nope doesn't seem fun to me.

The worst part is waking up ... I got caught a little too late in Door County Wisconsin before heading back south a few years back and slept in Homer --- it was 17° ... I had two sets of sweats on --- three pair of socks ... a comforter and my very warm throw ... I thought I would be fine --- didn't know it was going to get THAT low that night... too cold for this ol southern gal.... so it was motels for a couple of nights heading to warmth! 

I like St. Louis, a lot... as well as Memphis ... or even here at Lake Maumelle... but no heat!? .... electric at Lake Maumelle... could I get a little ceramic heater and it would be ok inside Homer? I would have to have the window down a bit. hmmmmm

I'll fix it--- I'll go buy one and he'll never know... he hasn't a clue about our finances... I've always handled them ... but then I'm an honest kid and I couldn't steal from us... but I might borrow... :D

Sigh... what the hell happened... how did it all go so wrong ... listen to this song with caution... not for the weak