The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours - it is an amazing journey - and you alone are responsible for the quality of it.
This is the day your life really begins
Thursday, March 15, 2012
The conformity of noncomformityness
Outta m'way y'big chicken - :D
I just gotta type this outta my craw. Several things have simultaneously occurred that reminded me of how people who pride themselves on being independent thinkers - one with nature - tolerant and well, nonconformists --- are really none of these things.
My making such a statement makes me really none of those things EXCEPT I'm aware that trying to convince someone you aren't what you are perceived to be by YOUR values or perception is being none of those aforementioned admirable beliefs.
Could that be clear?
Back in the 60s and to make a very loooong story short, I left a world where no 'girls' did what I did. I've written about this before ad nauseam. During my doing what no other 'girl' did in my world before, I encountered people whose lifestyles dictated rebellion, nonconformity and look at me! I'm an individual... but if you didn't 'see' or think their way... they would get extremely bent out of shape... drove me insane
Patting myself on the back ... I was. The reason? as I look back? is because I truly did my own thing without giving a rat's ass who thought what. One was being ostracized because I didn't want to do drugs. I lived in San Francisco and unbenownst to me Haight Ashbury! -- HAhaa what a story... and I didn't do drugs! Damn stuff was freakin ILLEGAL ... nothing and I mean nothing made me behave more than the thought of being locked up in a cell?! oh, man...
I've probably written some about that too... :D
I had seen so many kids get messed up with just alcohol but these drugs? I mean LSD? and whatever else 'they' used. balderdash. I could get into enough trouble without any enhancement... hah If you want to do drugs... work out... but I don't want to be around them. Back then... you could get hauled into jail whether you were 'doing' them or not but just being with someone who did... I enjoyed too many things to just sit somewhere and pass around tokes... silly --- I really thought it looked silly ... people get high differently on drugs than on booze.
Now... I did drink waaaay too much but I didn't care for anyone who couldn't 'hold' their liquor as we used to say. It was really 'not done' by women. Of course, guys used to like to encourage the booze because it lessened the 'girl's' will to say no... oh, man... I don't need to get started on that... where was I...
My point is why do people get het up over people who do not like, believe, enjoy or think as they do? why? Illegal is one thing and getting messed up with crutches - drugs/alcohol - but being who you are shouldn't be a concern of anyone's else's business.
Good old Dr. Seuss again... Be who you are and say what you mean because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind....
I go through periods of intense dislike for me. I then encounter 'others' and I am reminded that ... I'm okay. I like the way I think. My incurable hoofnmouth disease keeps me from being perfect but then my god how boring would that be.
The people I have met who insist they're perfect are really quite boring. I think this is why I'm basically a loner. I'm also social but not for long. I'm a social loner. yeah .... that's it. a control freak doormat.. HAhaaaaa
I do not like complicated bullshit. I know I bullshit and I'm damn good at it when I'm a mind to play ... especially when I was younger... I enjoyed messing with people who had problems with me. I was either too good looking or not good looking enough or too witty or not witty enough and the combination of looks and wit and having a conscience was really a trip for living in the 60s....
I'm still a trip. A piece of work and a hoot. But I can tell you one thing... I don't care who you are or what you do or how you do it as long as it causes no harm? work out. It's okay to be wrong --- It's okay to be sad --- It's okay to be lost and suicidal --- It's okay to hurt like hell from rejection or the loss of someone or something or a pet - whatever... don't be ashamed of these common emotions and don't think you're the Lone Ranger with a pole up his ass either.
The popular book, I'm Ok --You're Ok in the 60s and 70s was about transactional analysis.. Here's a description ... I had forgotten who the author was ...
Transactional Analysis delineates three observable ego-states (Parent, Adult, and Child) as the basis for the content and quality of interpersonal communication. "Happy childhood" notwithstanding, says Harris, most of us are living out the Not ok feelings of a defenseless child, dependent on ok others (parents) for stroking and caring.
At some stage early in our lives we adopt a "position" about ourselves and others that determines how we feel about everything we do. And for a huge portion of the population, that position is "I'm Not OK -- You're OK." This negative "life position," shared by successful and unsuccessful people alike, contaminates our rational Adult capabilities, leaving us vulnerable to inappropriate emotional reactions of our Child and uncritically learned behavior programmed into our Parent. By exploring the structure of our personalities and understanding old decisions, Harris believes we can find the freedom to change our lives.
He believed the progression to be ...
1. I'm Not OK, You're OK
2. I'm Not OK, You're Not OK
3. I'm OK, You're Not OK
4. I'm OK, You're OK
~Dr. Thomas Harris
Very deeep stuff to discuss. I generally played and danced and sang and dipshitted about but ever now and then I liked to get into philosophical discussions with the 'intellectuals' ... pseudo comes to mind, however... as outlined above in my observations of people period! Because I looked like anything but a book reader much less an intellectual.. HAhaaa... I wasn't taken very seriously on just about anything...
From my Father - Mother - two older brothers --- reminding me almost daily that I couldn't/didn't have an original thought much less any rights other than to do as I was told ... to bursting out of that world into a society that said the same damn thing... HAH! I said then ... and HAH! I say now...
I won't get political today but as you know ... every four years - women's rights always ALWAYS come into play for election time... well? maybe this one thing... :) From Rachel Madoff... "Here's the thing about rights. They're not supposed to be voted on. That's why they call them rights."