This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and affection for a few persons nearest us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole nature in its beauty. Nobody is able to achieve this completely but striving for such achievement is, in itself, a part of the liberation and a foundation for inner security.
Albert Einstein~
If took me many, many years of being hurt to realize that
ReplyDelete1. I can change no one and
2. The only one that can change me is me.
I would take care of everyone else and say "who is gonna take care of me"
Hoping that you find solutions and happiness this year.
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ReplyDeleteAbsolutely, Teri... I quit trying to even consider changing him or anyone years ago.
ReplyDeleteI can only be responsible for my actions... lord knows that's a full time endeavor!
I enjoyed your blog post ... I envy people who have close relationships with their Dads...
I didn't realize you were a widow. I went back and read some of your archives ... I was reading some when I saw your comment ;)
I was reading your Kindred Spirits post -- February 20th.
I posted about friends too and why at this age, I don't have a close pal... I miss that tremendously and you are right about the blogger world... helps tremendously and it is amazing... ;)
I so agree with Teri...when we are mad at the world and everyone else it is usually ourself that we are mad at for taking the easy way out.
ReplyDeleteLast night, sleep was not coming to me...
ReplyDeleteI was thinking about you - not in a "romantic way" hahaha some people really have a twist mind in those blogs -
I read your blog mainly because I can related and it help me tremendously to do some retrospection. So in that spirit, I’ll share some of my own stories with you...
I am also in a less than desirable relationship, but I think that unlike yours, mine has still a lot of rewards.
I walked away twice and came back (this is what I choose to do for me). I have a lot of respect for what you do,
I know that writing about our own situation is energy draining. Once I wrote about my own relation and gave this to one particular person, writing, in ma case, was NOT that therapeutic...
I end up crying a lot, at the time, being a 41 years old man; it was just something I never did. I cried about the young neglected child that has not been heard, I cried about the young adult that had confused sexuality with loved,
I also cried about this person that was ME but that I couldn’t relate to. At the time, it seems that my life was something that I was suffering but was not the fulfilled odyssey that it should have been. I was not depressed, it was more a growing pain that I didn’t know and was not prepared to go through (it is sooooo much easier to take a side road than the growing highway). I also have a good sense of humour and from the outside, I was smiling, but the inside was in construction... Is there something worse than to be a sad clown, I really felt like I was so ""fake""! I think that I was responsible
to my daughters, to my wife, to my employer, to my colleagues, and to some extend to my family (mother and brothers)... but I was NOT responsible to me... The first thing I did was cut any relationship with my mother and brothers. This in itself got a load off my mind; if something doesn’t help... it must be because it’s in the way. Please don’t judge me on this, there is always more to a story than what we can read, isn’t it? I started to realized that a couple is not one unit, it is 2 separated persons living their own life... I had a looooong way to go no :)). I don’t want to write too long, I don’t know how long the comment can be so I would cut this short (also my lunch hour is almost over and I am still responsible most of the time haha)
Today, Me, Myself and I changed a lot, not much changed around me, I am where I am because of where I want to be. When I walked away the first time, I thought that I was showing my kids a good example, I was doing what I should have done for a long time, but really, I was only trying to escape a jail that was within not without.
Please do not read this thinking, I’m trying to give you any advice, I’m not in a place to give advice, but I want you to know that you always have choices, that is to stay put, housitting or motorhome your way through your life but you have choices...
Richard? I hope you receive this .... I was going back to last year in my archives ... just needed to go back and remember.
DeleteHere is your comment... I don't see a response form me... I haven't a clue why our comment didn't go to an email or something...
I really really needed to read this this morning... I had no idea of your situation. And... wow... has your year been really something...
Just wow... It is January 1, 2013! Thank you, Richard for this comment and isn't it interesting that I found it - a year later but I found it....
Your reply is in the next post ...
Deleteyes! ... sigh ... Thanks, Mary ;)
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